How to Kill a Crayon

5.27.02 INT. 450 SIEGFRIED, ADAM’S BED, THE ASSCRACK OF DAWN

i woke up last night hanging halfway out of my bed (headfirst) with my eyes stuck together with gunk and my tongue fused to the roof of my mouth since all moisture in my mouth had evaporated. i had been having a normal dream in which i was reading a pamphlet entitled “How to Kill a Crayon,” complete with diagrams and pictures showing the end result of the “terminated wax module.” (even in my dreams the personal nature of death is obscured by bureaucratic jargon). anyway, i walked down the hall and drank about a half gallon of water then returned to my nest to complete my night’s rest. i think my dream is related to my current reading, which is all about how to live your life and kill people with a katana (i think i want to be a wandering samurai or ronin). not because i want to kill people (or crayons) but because i think it is sexy (like pretending to be the Terminator is sexy). (i like parentheses).