My Fencing Coach

Welcome to the world of Janusz Bednarski, fencing coach.

What he says (thick Polish accent): Teoretikally, you all dzould be do-​ink dee practiss ev-​er-​y day.

What he means: Get off your lazy bums and show some initiative, damn kids.

S: Ahh, dee at-​letic office has written me zis letter (waves piece of paper) dat has very much persons on dee team ahh, list-​ed. teoretikally, you all dzould be signing dee names to zem.

M: You are Notre Dame students, don’t you even know how to write your damn name? Stop creating useless paperwork for me.

S: ahh, ha-​lo Michal (mee-​how) my friend, i zee you are late for the practiss-​ing again. Have you been out do-​ink za drinkink and the dancink, and the partyink?

M: Next time you show up late i’m going to castrate you.

S: Now, ahh up! up! everybody and form da lines and do dee runnink. now…when i clasp you are jumpink and touchink the roof. on second clasp you are do-​ink it leel bit faster.

M: I want to see you run around like idiots.