Comments on: Cartography

By: Organic/Mechanic Permalink » Dictum

Organic/Mechanic Permalink » Dictum — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 13:34:15 +0000

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By: Adam Harvey

Adam Harvey — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 14:48:30 +0000

I wonder if I should add this quote to the beginning:

â€œWhat is man? A miserable little pile of secrets.”
-Andre Malraux

By: Organic/Mechanic

Organic/Mechanic — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 14:08:52 +0000

[...] • Breaking Up is Hard To Do • Dervish • Haunted House [2nd version] • Smober the Sock Goblin • Cartography [...]

By: Bard Edlund

Bard Edlund — Tue, 20 Jul 2004 05:55:31 +0000

you know… maybe the 1st line could be reconsidered. it seems to me you start saying that a man is an old map, which is taking the opposite view of the one you hold. yet, later in the poem, starting with “the half-truth map,” you are arguing from the perspective of your view that being a man is more than what the map says. i’m confusing myself here, so i have no direct advice, but i’m thinking you might be able to squeeze a tiny bit more clarity out of this by adjusting a word or two.

By: Bard Edlund

Bard Edlund — Tue, 20 Jul 2004 05:45:51 +0000

ah, i didn’t know maps actually said that. in that case, great! i can see what you’re saying about the middle part, but i have no constructive advice. perhaps it can be improved but i do think the whole thing is very good already.

btw, i wrote something sort of about maps ages ago, and your piece is at least 300% better.

By: Bard Edlund

Bard Edlund — Mon, 19 Jul 2004 22:45:49 +0000

this might be my favorite thing that you’ve written, or at least it’s up there. i like the premise a whole lot and i think you communicate the premise well. i am wondering about the way you phrased the very last line. it feels stylistically different, like it’s in another language than the rest. i almost read it in a pirate’s voice (like “thar be monsters!”), which turns a powerful conclusion into a bit of a joke… but that’s probably just my problem.

have you heard Elvis Costello’s “Poor Fractured Atlas?” it’s a beautiful song. you can read the lyrics here, but beware this site may have popups and crap (no apparent problem in firefox though):

By: harvey

harvey — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

you are right B?rd to think that the last line is stylistically different. it is a paraphrase/reference to the big uncharted spaces of old maps where the only thing written is ‘Here Be Monsters’ and it is supposed to tie in with the puns on Atlas and legend and the compass points and all that.

Also, it makes me think that the uncharted areas of a man’s soul, the parts masculinity knows nothing about, might very well be monstrous in their very undefined nature.

or something.

i’m actually most concerned with the middle chunk, i don’t think it is quite as strong. the Atlas line in particular needs me again. i think.