Pellegrino Foods Heat and Eat Pepperoni Pizza Flavor Pepperoni Balls

Pel­le­grino Foods Heat and Eat Pep­per­oni Pizza Fla­vor Pep­per­oni Balls are made by Pel­le­grino Foods from War­ren, PA. The only thing I can find out about this com­pany is this anti­defama­tion appeal [pdf]. In any case this item con­sists of two din­ner rolls injected with some­thing approx­i­mat­ing pizza gunk. Ingre­di­ents include: Potas­sium Bro­mate, Thi­amine Monon­i­trate, Moz­zarella Cheese Sub­sti­tute, Sodium Alu­minum Phos­phate, Sodium Cit­rate, Sor­bic Acid, Sodium Phos­phate, Mag­ne­sium Oxide, Zinc Oxide, Cyanocobal­amin, Fer­ric Orthophos­phate, Pyri­dox­ine HCO, Cal­cium Caseinate, Tri­cal­cium Phos­phate, Dis­odium Phos­phate, Trisodium Phos­phate, Cal­cium Pan­oth­en­ate, Sodium Ery­thor­bate and paprika. All in just 6oz and for $1.30.

It was also inspected and passed by the U.S. Depart­ment of Agri­cul­ture EST 8575. Excuse me while I go die.

Comments on this post

  1. Lori Kozey

    Oh, Adam. Did that long weasel­s­peak name not fore­warn you? The legally required inclu­sion of the “fla­vor” in the names of things that aren’t indeed what they are called? The rep­e­ti­tion of “pep­per­oni” in the hope that the rep­e­ti­tion might actu­ally charm it into resem­bling pep­per­oni some­how? Pep­per­oni balls, fer­god­sakes? You’re going to sin­gle­hand­edly keep some gas­troen­terol­o­gist well stocked with BMWs some­day. But at least you got your vit­a­min B12 (that’s the “cyanocobal­amin” part).

  2. Daniella

    I find your food reviews fas­ci­nat­ing. I notice that you did not say much about the taste. On the other hand your descrip­tions of beer is very descriptive.

    From that I deduct that you liked the beer a whole lot more :)

    I think you should write a vend­ing machine review book, it would be a big hit at my job since we do not have a cafe­te­ria but a few vend­ing machines. I take my lunch but I have seen a few brave soul eat­ing out of the vendy.

  3. jaclyn

    Oh jeez.

    I swear, some­day I will not be sur­prised to hear you have keeled over from the force of your stom­ach spon­ta­neously com­bust­ing. I might be sad, but def­i­nitely not surprised.

  4. Jerry

    As a rule of thumb, no man-​made food with the word ball in it is going to be good for you…

  5. Jeremy

    I see you’ve recov­ered enough from last week­ends meat-​induced comma fest to actu­ally try tack­ling some artif­i­cal crap from the vendy. Remem­ber what does not kill you makes you stronger. I expect that you’ll be able to drink bat­tery acid by the time you’re done bat­tling the vendy.

  6. peppermintlisa

    your vendy exper­i­ments are clearly just an indi­ca­tion of self-​sabotaging behav­ior. why not just smoke cig­a­rettes instead? Or sniff glue.

  7. Adam Harvey

    I tried sniff­ing cig­a­rettes and smok­ing glue, but they weren’t very satisfying.

  8. Daniella

    Hehe! You are such a rascal!

  9. patrick

    Well, I am very happy to see another vend­ing machine entry :) (though, I was told I was akin to the kid who mixes all his lunch together and you were the one who eats it on a bet.

  10. Adam Harvey

    Hm. I’ve done that before.

  11. shar

    I JUST ATE A PACKAGED SLOPPY JOE. IT WAS HORRIBLE. IF YOU PACKAGED THIS FOOD ITEM, I WOULD STOP. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU A RECIEPT FOR SLOPPY JOES. THAT WASN’T WHAT I ATE.…TOSSED IN THE TRASH.

  12. Greg

    For those of you skep­ti­cal of “pep­per­oni balls,” you should know that they are pretty much a sta­ple of North­west Penn­syl­va­nia pizza places, although they are typ­i­cally just pep­per­oni in bread, none of this “pizza fla­vored” crap. They’re really good, unless you get them from a vend­ing machine, appar­ently. Why would you think that was a good idea