Pellegrino Foods Heat and Eat Pepperoni Pizza Flavor Pepperoni Balls are made by Pellegrino Foods from Warren, PA. The on­ly thing I can find out about this com­pa­ny is this an­ti­defama­tion ap­peal [pdf]. In any case this item con­sists of two din­ner rolls in­ject­ed with some­thing ap­prox­i­mat­ing piz­za gunk. Ingredients in­clude: Potassium Bromate, Thiamine Mononitrate, Mozzarella Cheese Substitute, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Sodium Citrate, Sorbic Acid, Sodium Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Zinc Oxide, Cyanocobalamin, Ferric Orthophosphate, Pyridoxine HCO, Calcium Caseinate, Tricalcium Phosphate, Disodium Phosphate, Trisodium Phosphate, Calcium Panothenate, Sodium Erythorbate and pa­prika. All in just 6oz and for $1.30.

It was al­so in­spect­ed and passed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture EST 8575. Excuse me while I go die.

12 thoughts on “Pellegrino Foods Heat and Eat Pepperoni Pizza Flavor Pepperoni Balls

  1. Oh, Adam. Did that long weasel­s­peak name not fore­warn you? The legal­ly re­quired in­clu­sion of the “fla­vor” in the names of things that aren’t in­deed what they are called? The rep­e­ti­tion of “pep­per­oni” in the hope that the rep­e­ti­tion might ac­tu­al­ly charm it in­to re­sem­bling pep­per­oni some­how? Pepperoni balls, fer­god­sakes? You’re go­ing to sin­gle­hand­ed­ly keep some gas­troen­terol­o­gist well stocked with BMWs some­day. But at least you got your vi­t­a­m­in B12 (that’s the “cyanocobal­am­in” part).

  2. I find your food re­views fas­ci­nat­ing. I no­tice that you did not say much about the taste. On the oth­er hand your de­scrip­tions of beer is very de­scrip­tive.

    From that I de­duct that you liked the beer a whole lot more 🙂 

    I think you should write a vend­ing ma­chine re­view book, it would be a big hit at my job since we do not have a cafe­te­ria but a few vend­ing ma­chi­nes. I take my lunch but I have seen a few brave soul eat­ing out of the vendy.

  3. Oh jeez.

    I swear, some­day I will not be sur­prised to hear you have keeled over from the force of your stom­ach spon­ta­neous­ly com­bust­ing. I might be sad, but def­i­nite­ly not sur­prised.

  4. I see you’ve re­cov­ered enough from last week­ends meat-in­duced com­ma fest to ac­tu­al­ly try tack­ling some ar­tif­i­cal crap from the vendy. Remember what does not kill you makes you stronger. I ex­pect that you’ll be able to drink bat­tery acid by the time you’re done bat­tling the vendy.

  5. your vendy ex­per­i­ments are clear­ly just an in­di­ca­tion of self-sab­o­tag­ing be­hav­ior. why not just smoke cig­a­rettes in­stead? Or sniff glue.

  6. Well, I am very hap­py to see an­oth­er vend­ing ma­chine en­try 🙂 (though, I was told I was ak­in to the kid who mix­es all his lunch to­geth­er and you were the one who eats it on a bet.

  7. I JUST ATEPACKAGED SLOPPY JOE. IT WAS HORRIBLE. IF YOU PACKAGED THIS FOOD ITEM, I WOULD STOP. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GIVE YOURECIEPT FOR SLOPPY JOES. THAT WASN’T WHATATE.…TOSSED IN THE TRASH.

  8. For those of you skep­ti­cal of “pep­per­oni balls,” you should know that they are pret­ty much a sta­ple of Northwest Pennsylvania piz­za places, al­though they are typ­i­cal­ly just pep­per­oni in bread, none of this “piz­za fla­vored” crap. They’re re­al­ly good, un­less you get them from a vend­ing ma­chine, ap­par­ent­ly. Why would you think that was a good idea

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