Apparently, if I be­have my­self, I’ll be al­lowed to catch the kid as Debbie push­es him out. I’ve been prac­tic­ing. A few weeks ago I bought a catcher’s mitt; I’m soft­en­ing it up with mink oil and keep­ing it wrapped around a soft­ball to get a nice pock­et cre­at­ed for the kid’s head.

Catching my son will be the best thing to ever hap­pen to me.

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