Abraham turned the bucket into a hat on his own. Photo by Becca Riker.

This poem has been simmering for nearly a year now, and the day that inspired it will always be special to me. I was very concerned that it not be mawkish or cliché. I’m still not convinced I made it work, and I think it could still use some polish, especially clarification of subjects & objects. Since it has been simmering so long, I figure I’d better publish it before I never publish it. Thanks to Steve Goldberg & Milenko Budimir for the workshop help.

Bram woke up and crawled into bed with me around 7:15 AM and then I got a call from my mom with a computer issue around 7:30. Washed, breakfasted and bored by 10, we headed to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo and heard the following jokes while on the heated tram between Northern Trek & the Cathouse:

• Q: Where does a kangaroo go for breakfast?
  A: IHOP.
• Q: Where does a kangaroo go for dinner?
  A: Outback.
• Q: Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
  A: Then they’d be bagels.
• Q: When an elephant goes on a trip where does he pack his clothes?
  A: In his trunk.
• Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
  A: Take away his credit cards.

Incidentally, the zoo is half price admission when the temperature is below freezing, so we both got in for $6 total. We saw a gorilla eating its own feces in the same manner that a oenophile enjoys a nice glass. I told Abraham not to get any ideas. I also ran into my friend Alice, which is always a nice surprise.

Had lunch and sat with Bram until he fell asleep for a long nap, during which time I goofed around on the internet. After naptime we went sledding at Clark Fields, which is perfect for toddlers but exhausting for dads carrying toddlers & sleds back up snowy hills. Since I carried him throughout the zoo as well, I got a pretty good workout today. After dinner we watched the Sylvester Stallone episode of the Muppet Show & put together a big Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle (he’s getting really good with puzzles).

UPDATE: I also programmed two macros into my remote (something I should have done ages ago) and listened to my vinyl of Baroness’ Blue Record which made me fully appreciate the money I shelled out for nice speakers.

Once he conks out I’m either going to have some hot chocolate with Bailey’s or a bourbon & Dr. Pepper.

Nostalgia

Watching Bram discover the world allows me to discover it again. I used to boast that I’d never lose a childlike sense of wonder, but watching the little bear wig out over a train or an orange car shows me just how much I’d lost of that amazement. One of the completely unexpected and undeserved benefits of being a parent is the ability to relive those first moments of wonder vicariously. This vicarious feeling is sweetened and enhanced by a nostalgia born of remembering things you’d forgotten you’d known. Being with Bram when he saw a freighter leave the mouth of the Cuyahoga from the Coast Guard Station at Whiskey Island provided me with layers and layers of emotion stretching from my own childhood: nostalgia at that level of enthusiasm, the joy of remembering some moments of my own toddler experiences; and into the present: vicariously experiencing that emotion again, gratitude at being present for your own child’s moment of satori, and pride that you in some way facilitated the process.

Extrapolating from here, I imagine that grandparents feel much of the same; a third chance to experience childhood with the added bonus of a second chance to experience parenting.

Reference Manual

I’ve gained a whole new perspective of appreciation for the parenting examples of my parents. When I find myself in a situation where I’m unsure of how to proceed, I can think back to what worked and didn’t work on me, and adapt those lessons to whatever I’m trying to figure out with little bear. If I find myself second-guessing or unsure of my decisions, I know I’m just a phone call away from a total pro.

So, parenting has changed my life by the addition of context; vicarious nostalgia by allowing me to compare my childhood to my son’s & a whole new reference manual of behaviors coming from what I observed about parenting before I became one myself. I understand that some folks don’t get why others would want to be parents, and that’s cool. For me, it’s already provided a wealth of new and old experiences that I never would have expected, and that I expect will never end.

I took Bram to Train Day today. I intended to take him to the Cuyahoga County Fatherhood Initiative‘s day at the zoo, but a timely Facebook tip as we were heading out the door changed my plans. Abraham pretty much woke up demanding trains today, so I was happy to oblige.

The Cleveland Metroparks Ohio & Erie Canal Reservation is part of the Towpath Trail and is amazingly picturesque. Pretty much right in the heart of Cuyahoga County too.

The event reminded a bit of the Old Time Music Festival that I took Bram to in Metamora, IN last year. The whole of Metamora is still historic, and they’ve got an old big black steam engine and a canal boat that you can take rides on. It’s even got a functioning water-wheel-turned grist mill. The Ohio & Erie Canal Reservation has the canal, but no boat or train. There was old-timey music though, and I sang along to The Wabash Cannonball twice.

Train Day had no up close and personal actual trains, but lots of model trains, a hobo trail with real live hobos, a completely awesome Lego train exhibit, and the chance to get right up close to a marsh and spy on some blue herons. Abraham had almost as good a time as I did. My good times always exceed his because seeing him have a good time increases my enjoyment exponentially.

We ate an apple with with a hobo named Apple Annie, sat on a bench and ate chocolate fudge ice cream, colored a button and looked at trains six ways from Sunday. It helped that the trestle had CSX trains running across it every half hour as well.

Unfortunately, I have no photos or video because, although I brought my camera, my memory card was elsewhere.

All in all, a good Father’s Day weekend, so far. The dude conked out on the way home from Train Day and is currently snoring on my bed. Being a dad is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.

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WARNING

You are likely to find the following recordings quite boring.

Time Trial Mark 1

Summary

In which I attempt to gain empirical data regarding the subject’s aesthetic preferences and gauge its innate toy value cost/benefit ratio analysis ability. A slight infant malfunction at the end of the video stopped this experiment prematurely.

Data

Results

Subject shows inability to recognize that it is being experimented upon. Subject’s aesthetic development extends only to taste and texture. Subject has a tummy ache.

Time Trial Mark 2

Summary

Another iteration of the experiment, this time using food as the motivator, rather than toys. Subject given trail of food to follow with little to no distraction and paternal encouragement. An easier version of the previous experiment.

Data

Results

Subject is not quite as smart as a dog.

Agility Drill

Summary

This experiment charts the subject’s poise, balance, agility and fast-twitch muscle capability using a state-of-the-art spring-loaded restraint that was customized from a sex swing that shrank in the wash. Remember to only purchase items made from pre-shrunk cotton.

Data

Results

Subject continues to exhibit no knowledge that it is being experimented on. Subject also shows no signs of poise, balance, agility or fast-twitch muscle capability. Subject does, however, appear to be having a good time.

Eating is sometimes a fraught affair.