In which the author reviews the lat­est addi­tion to the vendy.

In which Adam returns to the vendy and meets a hereto­fore unknown but not unim­por­tant person.

In which Adam comes out of retire­ment to eat another some­thing hideous from the vendy downstairs.

Some weeks ago I had the Pierre™ Foods Pizza Par­lor Meat­ball Sub [$2.05USD 1.65€] from the vendy. I didn’t review it at the time because the expe­ri­ence was still so freshly trau­matic, so fraught, that it was the best I could do to lie in a pul­ing mewl­ing fetal posi­tion under my cubi­cle and moan at the slight­est mention […]

The vendy is almost empty this Fri­day. Some­one, other than me, has been eat­ing stuff from it. I hypoth­e­size that the folks work­ing all night on the 4^th floor are to blame. All that was left in the machine were things I’d already eaten [Muf­fin, Chicken Salad, Pickle] except for a chimichanga and what I ended up choosing […]

I shouldn’t have done it so soon, but I did. Today I pur­chased the Pierre Foods Fast Choice® BBQ Pork Rib Shaped with BBQ Sauce Sand­wich from the vend­ing machine. Bad idea. To say that my stom­ach is upset after eat­ing this would be like say­ing that Mike Tyson has an eat­ing disorder.

I hope to the Almighty Dog that my buddy from col­lege who is from Philadel­phia never reads this. I’ve been eat­ing pretty health­ily lately [apart from eat­ing a whole box of Donut Sticks on Mon­day], so today I pur­chased the Pierre™ Philly Style Cheeses­teak Beef Steak Patty Sand­wich with Green Pep­pers, Onions and Cheese from that bastard […]

I’ve been defeated by a mere cucum­ber! Well, not per­haps mere. The Kaiser Famous Dill Pickle, made by Kaiser Foods in Cincin­nati, OH [no web­site] is a dan­ger­ous adver­sary. The pickle, which I’m assum­ing weighed in at just less than one pound, came in a plas­tic bag and was sit­ting in its own brine. It cost one dollar […]

Another visit to the Pierre Foods kitchen today at the vendy. I got 2 Char-​Broils with Cheese for $1.50. Total weight: 4.8 ounces. Unfor­tu­nately I could not find the exact same item on the Pierre Foods site. Instead I’ve linked to the clos­est one. No nutri­tional infor­ma­tion avail­able, unfortunately.

Now that I am fully recov­ered from my sick­ness, I’ve restarted my explo­ration of the refrig­er­ated vendy down­stairs. This morn­ing I bought Big Mike’s Gourmet Sausage and Bis­cuit for $1.50.

Otis Spunkmeyer is at least a rec­og­niz­able name in the creepy refrig­er­ated vendy down­stairs. Yes­ter­day I bought a Choco­late Choco­late Chip Muf­fin for $1.00. It was 6.5 oz and 700 calo­ries of muf­fin goo, held together only by long chain sat­u­rated fats, but nonethe­less was tasty in a processed sort of way. I was going to buy a corn dog but […]

My quest to eat all the crap in the vend­ing machine down­stairs led me to the Land­shire Supreme Chicken Salad Sand­wich, today. I paired this with a bag of Porkies Crispy Fried Pork Rinds.

Today I had my sec­ond item from the vendy down­stairs. I had the Fast Choice Fish and Cheese Sand­wich by Pierre Foods, again. For $1.65 I received 5.75 ounces of…some­thing…with the con­sis­tency and taste of a dirty, wet mit­ten. This item is appar­ently slightly bet­ter for you than Biz AZ Bubba Twins because the nutri­tion infor­ma­tion is actu­ally posted on […]

There is a vend­ing machine down­stairs, recently installed, that con­tains a vari­ety of dirt cheap refrig­er­ated lunch prod­ucts. They all look com­pletely gross. So, since I’m the kind of guy who eats hot dog fla­vored potato chips just because they’re there, I’ve deter­mined to eat one of each thing in that vend­ing machine. Today I had BIG AZ […]