A Very Bad Thing

Well the week­end is over and it is time for me to get back to work. I spent way too much mon­ey on Mag­ic cards, but I did man­age to get my fix. I had trou­ble sleep­ing last night. I only slept for 6 and a half hours instead of longer as is my wont. I’m still kin­da tired but I know I won’t be able to go back to sleep. Jamie’s friend Lau­ra came to vis­it her this week­end, and I was intro­duced. She goes to the Uni­ver­si­ty of Ari­zona and is very pret­ty. Actu­al­ly, they both are; and nice to boot. I need to find a girl like Jamie or Lau­ra. They would prob­a­bly tell me that entails mov­ing to Cal­i­for­nia, which I have no inten­tion of doing. So I guess I’m screwed. Any­way, it was good to talk with Jamie again, brief as it was. We haven’t spent much time togeth­er this semes­ter, most­ly by my choice I guess. It is hard to hang out with some­one you know is good for you and you are attract­ed to but at the same time real­ize that there is no chance at all of any­thing more than friend­ship. There is noth­ing wrong with friend­ship except when one per­son expects more from it than is viable. That leads to dis­sat­is­fac­tion. A very bad thing. My expec­ta­tions need sort­ed out and/or reeval­u­at­ed. Notre Dame is not a good place for me. I do not like it here. It is inef­fec­tu­al in stim­u­lat­ing me, the peo­ple here are super­fi­cial­ly nice but not tru­ly inter­est­ed in devel­op­ing rela­tion­ships. The social life is stag­nant and imma­ture. This place should be called Notre Lame. The edu­ca­tion is excel­lent but I think part of col­lege involves social devel­op­ment and the par­a­digm here seems to cre­ate a strange and asym­met­ric per­son who is inca­pable of inter­act­ing in an adult man­ner social­ly while being a pro­fes­sion­al in busi­ness mat­ters. I should have gone to a state school. I’ve got Mass, lot­sa home­work and a group meet­ing today, plus I must needs call me mud­da. Ergo, I vamoose. Adios.