easter was great! filet mignon was even better. two new pomes. shuffel7/firefly paradigm and untitled8, plus a new link to Digital Ghosts.

distance from ND to Fargo…734.2 miles…estimated hours of traveling time 12hrs, 27mins. thank god for instant messenger. too bad you can’t actually look at or touch the person you are talking to. i’m gonna write a paper on the reflexivity of anthropological filmmaking now.

i’m trying to get a comments thing up and running for these random musings. it is tougher than it looks especially for someone that knows no HTML. i don’t like it when people get sick. i never know what to do to help them out. whenever i get sick i just wrap myself up in a bunch of clothes and blankets and go under my covers with my electric blanket on and don’t leave until i feel better. i think my poetry needs something new, but i cannot figure out what. i need to talk about it with someone. this weekend is going to be long for many reasons some of them good. i went to mccormicks and had kicked all kinds of ass at darts. goodnight.

extreme sleep deprivation. i smell nice though and will hopefully accomplish some work this night. i do not have anything particularly enlightening to say today, but i do have something that is important anyway. be honest, brutally so, with everyone that is important to you. it gets easier after awhile. and they will respect you for it. in other news i got back some NCAA pics and put a couple in the album. check it out. there might be a new pome before the night is through…

labels are useless. they only serve as limiters when applied to a person. i am a Fencer, Anthropologist, Hick, or Romantic. all of these contain some truth but exclude other truths. i am more than a label, and my challenge is to make sure that i do not label a person. multifaceted and polydimensional…aren’t we all? perhaps i am ADAM, but perhaps i am more than that. it is hard to know how much culture is a benefit and how much of it impedes us from self-actualization. guidance comes from within but cannot succeed without help from without. or is it the other way around? what is it that makes teamwork so instinctive and individuality so problematic. how do i know if i am being true to myself and not deluding my psyche into a realm of my own imaginings?

fucking 3rd place. lets see what happened…broke my glasses, almost got arrested, got caught in a snowstorm. time spent in a car traveling…22 hours. classes today…2. homework needs happening, and all i want is a backrub. i’m going to sleep now since i just got back and it is 3AM.

today was quite possibly the longest day ever. it is spring right? then why did we get a few inches of snow? where are the damn crocuses? listen to this song. it kicks ass. also check out the new link.

i got a kiss however i am also leaving today for the NCAA fencing championship at Drew University in New Jersey. I won’t be back till Monday sometime. roadtrips are great especially since i’ll have a DVcam with which to document and then create a cool thingy on the tournament. Go Irish Fencing! i’m riding on a high several degrees of magnitude larger than anything i have seen in quite a while. i sense some major poetics coming…uh oh. peace out y’all and keep on doin’ it right. (whatever that means). happy springtime everyone!

life is good. i am glad i have found someone i can talk to about anything and everything, someone who is as driven as me but in a different direction, someone who is stimulating and intriguing. someone i want to get to know so much better. someone i can be totally me around. someone.

(smilingconstantthoughtsofwarmtheyessmellfeelandfreedomtobealive)

Do you like coloring books? i do.

judging a body on its attractiveness is fine (see entry for 3.6.02) here is a more succinct explanation. the body can be objectified because it is simply an object. the danger lies in treating the personality by the same manner. so looking and admiring a person for their body is fine. using that measure alone to judge them however is fallacy. the desire for the body/object is a purely instinctual process. a person must be loved for their soul.

molly is a dork.

i’ve got so much work done. i still need to do more though. i have a research paper on Monty Python (totally sweet) but i’ve also got some other stuff to do before i go root on the Irish Fencers at the NCAAs. i’ve got a partner project due for one of my film classes and i need to get started on my dialogue film. too bad we don’t have a lot of time. there never is enough time for what is expected of us. too much is busy work and not enough truly challenges. most of the challenge does not lie in application but whether or not you can get the amount done in time. its quantity not quality and it blows.

LATE NIGHT UPDATE2: talking till 3:30 is fun but waking up at 7 isn’t.

Phil was here. Molly is coming back today from Appalachia. i guess i had better help her make her own website. i got one of my papers done, finished my shotlist for my dialogue script and ate at CJs last night. saw Ice Age too. funny shit.

LATE NIGHT UPDATE: I now know what spooning is. (this has NOTHING to do with Phil)

i must have a pinched nerve or something in my neck cuz i can barely move it. i got my mop chopped today, 6 weeks after shaving my head, it just needed smoothed out. i requested another gig and a half of drive space so i can fit more quicktimes on my site. started doing my research and broke my lenten promise of no playstation. i don’t have anything else to do though except work the whole time, but hell this is spring break i should be having fun right? also started researching my paper on Monty Python. i love the fact that i am in a major that not only lets me make my own flix but also encourages me to research a movie or movies that have influenced me. i am majoring in electives and my life will be a fieldtrip. i have no prob with that. i’m gonna try to write a pome (or po-em if you must…) or two now. wish me luck.

well i’m back from break. this one is gonna be long so prepare yourself. it was nice being home for even a few days, as it is also nice being back here when mike isn’t around so i can actually be in my room. i read “let us now praise famous men” by james agee while at home. on the way up i listened to Poe’s Haunted album, the toadies, BOC, The Crow Soundtrack, and jimmie’s chicken shack. i bought a cool hat and a toadies tshirt at goodwill for $2.68, you just can’t beat it. it is a beautiful day out today. the perfect girl for me is a girl who is independent, not high-maintenance, and strong. i want someone who is intellectually stimulating and will be there for me when i am weak, and who will call on me when she is in similar straits. yet, i want a girl who is compassionate and determined, sympathetic and full of fun. mom thinks i am too horny. she doesn’t realize that the majority of guys are just as bad, and for me in particular, i have been this way for years, just now i am talking about it. the NCAA fencing championship is next weekend, i hope we win, we have waited long enough and deserve it. my friend phil is coming up to visit sometime this weekend. i’m working on getting my webcam to stream video but i need the java scripts for it…chuck helped me out with a site. i put in a couple of new poems as well…purge and cellar door. i have reenforced and notarized the statement that “i burn” by the toadies is my favorite song ever. i got the album up and working so you no longer need a password to see the pictures. i know there was more to write about but i cannot think of it right now. peace.

going home today for spring break. i’ll be back in three of four. just to let the thousands of people that read this know… i’ve got some goodbyes to make and i’ll be eating with my uncle and his family for dinner. yumyumyum. on a completely unrelated note, i think if i ever got into bed with a girl i would become an unstoppably passionate sensualist. i’ve got a lot of repressed sexual tension. can’t figure out why you need a password to access the pictures… i think it has something to do with Win2k. i’d better start packing and do a little reading. see you in a few days website…

is it beginning again? am i getting my hopes up? will she tell me? the new site is done. what do you think? i love. going to McCormick’s with the team. goodbye.

today has been interesting. does the fact that i desire a beautiful woman make me shallow? if so, then i guess i am shallow. however, i believe that since our first instinct is physical, it should be accepted, provided that the attraction is not only limited to that. seriously, if you knew a person of the opposite sex who had one eye, severe burns, a club foot, a harelip, greasy hair, and the most wonderful personality in the entire universe, would you be attracted. sure you might hang out with them but would you want to get your freak on with them? if so you are a better person than i am.

how do i reconcile myself to the fact that someone can appear wonderful and degraded at the same time. by looking at myself. i know i have positive qualities, and i know my negatives better than anyone. why should i judge when i am the same. i need understanding and dialogue to attain enlightenment. i must not be bound by stagnant thought, participant-observation will enable me to understand points of view that i have understood through my cultural education to be bad. i must make myself a better person. i owe it to you.

Fuck the Po-lice! woohoo for rubbings of the back. lonnnnnggggg daaaaay! I got a lot accomplished yet am still behind. I pretty much finished my silent narrative and should have a link up to it on my webpage as soon as i convert it to quicktime. talked with luis, he seemed helpful. really cold out. my snot froze inside my noze. haven’t seen mike at all pretty much, which is always a plus. had a fun filled and work filled weekend. went to the lyons dance with liz on friday which was a good time.