today has been interesting. does the fact that i desire a beautiful woman make me shallow? if so, then i guess i am shallow. however, i believe that since our first instinct is physical, it should be accepted, provided that the attraction is not only limited to that. seriously, if you knew a person of the opposite sex who had one eye, severe burns, a club foot, a harelip, greasy hair, and the most wonderful personality in the entire universe, would you be attracted. sure you might hang out with them but would you want to get your freak on with them? if so you are a better person than i am.
how do i reconcile myself to the fact that someone can appear wonderful and degraded at the same time. by looking at myself. i know i have positive qualities, and i know my negatives better than anyone. why should i judge when i am the same. i need understanding and dialogue to attain enlightenment. i must not be bound by stagnant thought, participant-observation will enable me to understand points of view that i have understood through my cultural education to be bad. i must make myself a better person. i owe it to you.