Ready to Go

5.8.02 INT. KEOUGH HALL RM. 435 2:03pm DAY

most­ly packed and ready to get the hell out of south bend for a few days. i hope i can fit every­thing into my car, but i’m not too wor­ried. this sum­mer will be used to heal the dam­age that this year has done to me, both phys­i­cal­ly (with my knee) and men­tal­ly (pret­ty much every­thing else). if all this shit builds char­ac­ter, i’m gonna be one tough mofo. the thing is, i think i have quite enough char­ac­ter already thank you very much. i have a nice start to my sum­mer read­ing list, i won­der how much i will read before i get back to ND.

i am a tran­sient being, ethe­re­al and fleet­ing. i leave no marks behind me, just fad­ing mem­o­ries. con­stan­cy is my style, yet it is the con­stan­cy of change and readap­ta­tion, para­dox. where i go no one wants to fol­low because it is too con­fus­ing. out of con­fu­sion springs enlight­en­ment. if you stare at the white noise long enough, you will be able to see the super­fi­cial­i­ty of exis­tence and the com­plex­i­ty of noth­ing­ness. no one real­ly wants to be enlight­ened, they are much more sat­is­fied to let the respon­si­bil­i­ty for liv­ing and breath­ing and act­ing fall on any­one but them­selves. i pity those who can­not rec­og­nize the pow­er inher­ent in them­selves, inher­ent in every per­son, the pow­er to change real­i­ty and cre­ate that which was only imag­ined.

today i am bubon­ic