Computer Lab Cogitations

one of the worst things about work­ing in a mind­less job in which you don’t actu­al­ly DO any­thing is that you get to the point where you think too much. you begin to doubt your­self and ques­tion it all. in fact this is the sem­i­nal sign of insan­i­ty. a mere atom­ic par­ti­cle of imbal­ance that in the prop­er con­di­tions caus­es melt­down. ah joy. sur­round­ed by inces­sant clack­ing of key­boards, var­i­ous whirrings and beeps, and sundry shift­ings and squeaks of bod­ies in uncom­fort­able chairs. no win­dows, just flu­o­res­cence. air con­di­tion­ing per­ma­nent­ly 3 degrees too cold. no one speak­ing, no laugh­ter. stag­na­tion. who would­n’t become the slight­est bit loony. my eyes burn from star­ing at a screen, my arms are freez­ing because it is more impor­tant that the machines be cool than the per­son be warm. it is sum­mer. i should be out­side gal­li­vant­i­ng around with dirty hands a mis­chevi­ous mind and a dog for com­pa­ny. but i’m not a child any­more. fun is sec­ondary to pro­vid­ing the means for my own exis­tence. bitch moan repeat. if any­one would like to know how to tor­ture me with extreme vicious­ness, just stick me in a very bright­ly lit, air con­di­tioned (3 degrees too cold) room and leave me with noth­ing to do. i’ll crack with­in a day. i’m not angry or even real­ly com­plain­ing. the only rea­son any of this is here is to pro­vide myself with a moment of dis­trac­tion before the giant white wall falls on me again. oop.