Eclectic Dorm Rant

i live with the most eclectic gathering of people. for the summer this dorm contains the Notre Dame football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, and track teams. however only one person in my hallway is from one of these teams, the other thirty-so people in my section are biblethumpers. i am not kidding when i say that these blokes live and breathe the catholic church. they are here for some six week course in theology. i am dead serious when i say that in the two weeks that they have been here i have yet to hear them discuss something other than various intricacies of catholic doctrine and divine yaketyak. Not one word about a new movie, a cute girl, a song on the radio or the score of a random televised sporting event. instead, homilies, dogma nitpicking and comparison of different translations of the bible have been the course du jour. the world is full of strange people.

i also share the kitchen with the football team. or should i say i share the kitchen with the girls who fuck fix food for the football team. it didn’t bother me too much for about the first five minutes. then they started stealing my stuff. so 3 bowls later i keep my eating utensils in my own room. they also don’t clean up after themselves. the entire kitchen is a mountain of dirty dishes. there is absolutely no room to set anything clean down. the oven and rangetop are broken and the refridgerator is sinking under the weight of things shoved haphazardly into it. the hall manager, so intent on not letting the football players rule the dorm he is in charge of, merely whimpers and whines when i mention that he might start enforcing some rules. this week we were cooking a lasagna in the oven and some of the football sluts cooks TAKE OUT OUR LASAGNA and put in their CAKE and brownies. They don’t even LIVE in our dorm and they see no problem with commandeering the oven for their own use DESPITE THE FACT that someone else is already using it. i hope those big black dicks on the football team get food poisoning from their cock-sockets and start going to the dining hall. then maybe i can have a decent meal again.