i used to be an altar boy. a damn good one at that, i knew what needed to be done at exactly what time and i knew all of the foibles of the priest i helped out. it was dreadfully boring. i did however gain the ability to keep a totally emotionless face for an entire hour. i always took the honor of preparing the censer and incense when we used it in mass. i got to play with fire, and make it smell good. it was the only sexy part of being a server. i did pass out a couple of times during summer mass due to lack of blood sugar and the intense heat that wearing an alb in summer heat without having breakfast would cause anyone to pass out. if you read that sentence again i change something around from the first half to the second half and it shouldn’t make any sense. too many verb clauses? whatever.