Her Poem

I gave her her po­em the oth­er day as a christ­mas gift. the edit­ed ver­sion. i think it reads bet­ter. she said she likes it alot. but when she says that, i’m not sure what kind of friend she is being…either the “I’ll say I like it be­cause I don’t want to risk hurt­ing his feel­ings” friend or the “I Really Actually Like it, and even if I didn’t I would say that I didn’t like it be­cause frank­ness is best” friend. i gave it to her and left be­fore she opened it. i was scared of what could go wrong. we had chat­ted for a cou­ple of hours and it was good. i didn’t want to risk…something. she is of great in­ter­est to me. but she is leav­ing. frick frick frick. what to do! frick.

i should speak to her that i have an in­ter­est in dat­ing, see­ing, hold­ing, (frick-what do any of those terms mean?) her. But at the same time ex­press my de­sire to not com­pli­cate things by im­me­di­ate­ly hav­ing her leave the coun­try for months. But af­ter­ward, if she is will­ing, i’ll still be around.

yet, am i will­ing to stick around for a mere pos­si­bil­i­ty? to put my dreams on hold to see if we are good for each oth­er? is she worth that risk? I am an aw­ful risk tak­er when it comes to re­la­tion­ships… but… is this dream… is she.… .. . ? frick.

an fur­ther ex­am­i­na­tion of my feel­ings of in­fe­ri­or­i­ty in the realm of love can be found here.