Her Room

i went over to her room last night and watched her pack a little and drank some wine. it didn’t take much convincing to get her to stop and come sit on the futon by me. we talked, i babbled, things were slightly awkward but so very slightly it was only noticeable if you looked for it. we listend to some U2, some cranberries and much Smashing Pumpkins. our legs brushed against each other. we talked more and she told me about why she and her old boyfriend split. a whole year ago! and i knew nothing until it was too late. last year when we had both been horribly depressed we could have helped each other. we talked more as Adore played and suddenly she asked me what my favorite Pumpkins song was. as i turned to look at her, she was so close to me that my eyes couldn’t focus on her face. i wanted to kiss her then, but didn’t. did she want me to kiss her? we read something about our zodiac compatibilities. we are both scorpios, and for the most part we fit the bill with our personalities, dark and ever-​changing. it appeared from reading the book that the only good match for a scorpio is a pisces. everything else destructs due to scorpio’s desire for control or something. pisces are submissive i guess. we both agreed that we didn’t want someone we could walk over but an equal instead. the scorpio/​scorpio match mentioned something along those same lines, that the dark passions would either meld seamlessly or the exact opposite. i think we were both thinking about how well we get along together. at least i know i was. as we listend to by starlight, and discussed how beautiful it was, the visiting hours ended i had to leave. we never did kiss, though i most certainly dreamed about it. i wanted to give her a hug, but felt self-​conscious and gave her a high-​five instead, which made my self-​consciousness blatantly obvious. i miss her and too many opportunities. the wine was very good.