DUFF

a friend of mine had a booty call drive the two and a half hour trip from Purdue just to come visit her. apparently she got all she wanted from said booty call but the booty himself was unsatisfied. as she put it:

all he wanted was my body, which is nice at least.

the day and a half the booty spent here was very awkward for her, they managed to disagree on everything from camping to tree roots and she knew there was no hope for it when he mentioned his dreams of being an investment banker or venture capitalist.

according to the erudite rules of our student handbook: du Lac; the booty had to spend the night in my room because members of either opposite sex cannot stay with members of the other opposite sex after 2am on ends of the week.

hence why the booty’s dreams of more lovin’ were cut short by moi: the male equivalent of a DUFF. Which was fine, all i had to do was sleep and let some dude sleep on my floor. then as he was leaving yesterday he knocked off one of my argonath statuettes and broke the hand off it. fuck.

at least my friend got some.