In Castle-​town in the grop­ing slums
where rats hope for food, for crumbs
there is a house, a hovel dark
of toad­stools and crum­ble­bark.
Lives in it a hag of ter­ror fame
Miz Grum­ble­wort is her fear­some name.
Her eyes are yel­low, her teeth are green
her warts are hairy and quite obscene
her cat is black and very cun­ning
the sight of it sends most folks run­ning.
For they know the story I?ll tell
when once Miz Grum­ble­wort was a girl named Nell?

Nell was young many years ago
she laughed at sun, she laughed at snow
her eyes were green and very bright
her hair was yel­low her teeth were white.
She had a kit­ten of pump­kin hue
with a ring on its tail and eyes of blue.
She would run and play with girls or boys
and was not shy about shar­ing toys.
Her favorite place was the candy store
with its sweet smells and painted door
and it was here one fate­ful day
that Nell came to eat and play.

The store­keep had a sur­prise this time
a candy toad from an exotic clime
Nell?s eyes lit up as the took the treat
eaten, it went straight to her feet
then the tin­gling left her toes
and she felt some­thing grow on the tip of her nose.
A tiny wart with one thin hair?
From a candy toad? This was not fair!
Nell tried oils and potions fine
then fire and even tur­pen­tine
despite all she did the wart grew and spread.
Nell became a witch to keep her­self fed.

The older and larger her hairy wart grew
The less Nell was the girl we once knew.
She turned to dark arts and grew quite thin
and became Miz Grum­ble­wort to kith and kin.
Her kit­ten became a cat black as sable
and now that we come to the end of this fable
of Castle-​town and its grop­ing slums
where rats hope for food, for crumbs
Remem­ber next time when you try strange candy
make sure to keep a doc­tor handy
or you might end up with Grum­ble­worts curse
you could get warts or some­thing worse!