Miz Grumblewort

In Castle-town in the grop­ing slums
where rats hope for food, for crumbs
there is a house, a hov­el dark
of toad­stools and crum­ble­bark.
Lives in it a hag of ter­ror fame
Miz Grumblewort is her fear­some name.
Her eyes are yel­low, her teeth are green
her warts are hairy and quite ob­scene
her cat is black and very cun­ning
the sight of it sends most folks run­ning.
For they know the sto­ry I?ll tell
when once Miz Grumblewort was a girl named Nell?

Nell was young many years ago
she laughed at sun, she laughed at snow
her eyes were green and very bright
her hair was yel­low her teeth were white.
She had a kit­ten of pump­kin hue
with a ring on its tail and eyes of blue.
She would run and play with girls or boys
and was not shy about shar­ing toys.
Her fa­vorite place was the can­dy store
with its sweet smells and paint­ed door
and it was here one fate­ful day
that Nell came to eat and play.

The store­keep had a sur­prise this time
a can­dy toad from an ex­ot­ic clime
Nell?s eyes lit up as the took the treat
eat­en, it went straight to her feet
then the tin­gling left her toes
and she felt some­thing grow on the tip of her nose.
A tiny wart with one thin hair?
From a can­dy toad? This was not fair!
Nell tried oils and po­tions fine
then fire and even tur­pen­tine
de­spite all she did the wart grew and spread.
Nell be­came a witch to keep her­self fed.

The old­er and larg­er her hairy wart grew
The less Nell was the girl we once knew.
She turned to dark arts and grew quite thin
and be­came Miz Grumblewort to kith and kin.
Her kit­ten be­came a cat black as sable
and now that we come to the end of this fa­ble
of Castle-town and its grop­ing slums
where rats hope for food, for crumbs
Remember next time when you try strange can­dy
make sure to keep a doc­tor handy
or you might end up with Grumbleworts curse
you could get warts or some­thing worse!

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