Month: January 2004
The night before last was nearly sleepless for me. Typically I have almost complete control over what I dream about, even unto nightmares. Yet Monday night, I had quite uncomfortable dreams, and I am not certain why they were so uncomfortable. Every dream I had, and when ever and where ever it took place, my best friend friend from high school and the first person I ever fell for, J, appeared. She wasn’t as I remember her from HS, she was 4 years older, prettier and even more quixotic. Like some sort of archetypal figure. The dreams were all standard fair, nothing tawdry, but invariably J would turn up, act in a completely normal way, and freak me out every time. I would always wake myself up immediately after she asked a perfectly innocuous question.
At the Fair — Have you ridden the Ferris Wheel?
At my home — How have you been?
On the street — Do I have something on the back of my coat?
etc. ad infinitum
I’m not sure what this night of cracked dreaming means. It could mean that I still have unresolved feelings toward J. She could be nothing more than the best symbol my mind could come up with to represent whatever it is that I am anxious about at this time. It could mean something else entirely. I just don’t know. First I need to figure out what is percolating in the recesses of my mind. Then I’ll have a better idea I think. If you have any questions or need clarifications ask, because I am sure they will help me figure some of this out.