If I could have a harem, these are the fa­mous peo­ple that it would con­tain. Non-fa­mous peo­ple have been omit­ted to pro­tect my in­no­cence.

  • Judy Greer- She has played most­ly small but im­por­tant roles so far in What Women Want, Adaptation [briefly top­less!], and The Wedding Planner. I love me a hot red­head.
  • Winona Ryder- I don’t re­al­ly know what all the big fuss was about when she shoplift­ed a few years ago. She had stolen my heart long be­fore.
  • Fiona Apple- She is some kind of sul­try for­bid­den fruit. I think prob­a­bly an ap­ple.
  • Laetitia Casta- Real Women Have Curves.
  • Jennifer Garner- I’d like to en­gage in some covert op­er­a­tions with this red­head.
  • Victoria Beckham- Sure she is mar­ried to a soc­cer-god. She al­so hasn’t met me.
  • Elsa Benitez- I find it dif­fi­cult to write any­thing about her be­cause of all the drool that gets on the key­board.
  • Pen?lope Cruz- Tom Cruise needs to find a less at­trac­tive beard and free the love­ly Pen?lope up for all us wolf-whistlers.
  • Scarlett Johansson- In The Man Who Wasn’t There she looks so good it hurts.
  • Anna Paquin- Just as hot as Ms. Johansson.
  • Ir?né Jacob- If you haven’t seen Trois couleurs: Rouge, do it tonight.
  • Heidi Gluck and Freda Love- 23 of Some Girls, Phil gets Juliana Hatfield, but she doesn’t do it for me any­way.
  • Sarah McLachlan- If you have seen the Adia video and the al­bum art for her newest re­lease, I need no jus­ti­fi­ca­tion.
  • Ashley Judd- argh­largh­largh­largh­larghl.

    The eu­nuch in charge of these girls would be Dwayne Douglas Johnson [He is gonna end up fat and hair­less any­way]. Thank you for your waste of time.

    2 thoughts on “Harem

    1. thanks for leav­ing ju­liana for me.…although i would al­so have to agree that the oth­er two are al­so way hot. and i would al­so have to agree that its hard to beat a good red­head (ie: claire danes in my so called life. yowza!)

    2. Alyson Hannigan
      Jewel Staite
      Charisma Carpenter
      Mia Kirshner
      Amber Benson
      Thora Birch
      Gina Gershon
      Amy Acker
      Angelina Jolie

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