If I could have a harem, these are the famous people that it would contain. Non-​famous people have been omitted to protect my innocence.

  • Judy Greer- She has played mostly small but important roles so far in What Women Want, Adaptation [briefly topless!], and The Wedding Planner. I love me a hot redhead.
  • Winona Ryder- I don’t really know what all the big fuss was about when she shoplifted a few years ago. She had stolen my heart long before.
  • Fiona Apple- She is some kind of sultry forbidden fruit. I think probably an apple.
  • Laetitia Casta- Real Women Have Curves.
  • Jennifer Garner- I’d like to engage in some covert operations with this redhead.
  • Victoria Beckham- Sure she is married to a soccer-​god. She also hasn’t met me.
  • Elsa Benitez- I find it difficult to write anything about her because of all the drool that gets on the keyboard.
  • Pen?lope Cruz- Tom Cruise needs to find a less attractive beard and free the lovely Pen?lope up for all us wolf-​whistlers.
  • Scarlett Johansson- In The Man Who Wasn’t There she looks so good it hurts.
  • Anna Paquin- Just as hot as Ms. Johansson.
  • Ir?né Jacob- If you haven’t seen Trois couleurs: Rouge, do it tonight.
  • Heidi Gluck and Freda Love- 23 of Some Girls, Phil gets Juliana Hatfield, but she doesn’t do it for me anyway.
  • Sarah McLachlan- If you have seen the Adia video and the album art for her newest release, I need no justification.
  • Ashley Judd- arghlarghlarghlarghlarghl.

    The eunuch in charge of these girls would be Dwayne Douglas Johnson [He is gonna end up fat and hairless anyway]. Thank you for your waste of time.

    2 thoughts on “Harem

    1. thanks for leaving juliana for me.…although i would also have to agree that the other two are also way hot. and i would also have to agree that its hard to beat a good redhead (ie: claire danes in my so called life. yowza!)

    2. Alyson Hannigan
      Jewel Staite
      Charisma Carpenter
      Mia Kirshner
      Amber Benson
      Thora Birch
      Gina Gershon
      Amy Acker
      Angelina Jolie

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