If I could have a harem, these are the famous people that it would contain. Non-famous people have been omitted to protect my innocence.
- She has played mostly small but important roles so far in What Women Want
[briefly topless!], and The Wedding Planner
. I love me a hot redhead. Winona Ryder
- I don’t really know what all the big fuss was about when she shoplifted a few years ago. She had stolen my heart long before. Fiona Apple
- She is some kind of sultry forbidden fruit. I think probably an apple. Laetitia Casta
- Real Women Have Curves. Jennifer Garner
- I’d like to engage in some covert operations with this redhead. Victoria Beckham
- Sure she is married to a soccer-god. She also hasn’t met me. Elsa Benitez
- I find it difficult to write anything about her because of all the drool that gets on the keyboard. Pen?lope Cruz
- Tom Cruise needs to find a less attractive beard and free the lovely Pen?lope up for all us wolf-whistlers. Scarlett Johansson
- In The Man Who Wasn’t There
she looks so good it hurts. Anna Paquin
- Just as hot as Ms. Johansson.
Ir?né Jacob- If you haven’t seen Trois couleurs: Rouge
, do it tonight.
Heidi Gluck and Freda Love- 2
of Some Girls, Phil gets Juliana Hatfield, but she doesn’t do it for me anyway.
Sarah McLachlan- If you have seen the Adia video and the album art for her newest release, I need no justification.
Ashley Judd- arghlarghlarghlarghlarghl.
The eunuch in charge of these girls would be Dwayne Douglas Johnson [He is gonna end up fat and hairless anyway]. Thank you for your waste of time.