A loyal reader writes†:
I’ve been reading Organic Mechanic for a long time but I’m disappointed that you don’t talk about sex more than you do. A man of your dashing good looks and roguish personality gets it on all the time, I am quite sure. Please tell us about your sex life. I want to know everything. EVERYTHING. Tell me all the naughty bits.
Well, loyal reader, I aim to please€.
Also, thank you for sending me those interestingly arranged self portraits and the silk underdrawers. I am sure that you are not the only one who wonders about my sexual prowess, fortitude and frequency. I know this because when I check the search strings that result in hits on my site, lots of them are sexual. By far the most popular is the search for ‘sick pictures’ followed closely by ‘redheads’ and ‘hot monkey love.’ In the next lower echelon of searching people seem to be interested in whether I have a ‘clamped girlfriend’ or ‘fudge covered oreos.’
It is also of interest to me how often other people talk about their own sex lives or the sex lives of other people. All of this interest in sex, or ‘porking’ as I like to say, leads me to conclude that many people must enjoy the act. I would also like to take this time to point out that I have large hands that flabbergast women into cattywampusness. Sex. Sex. Sex. Porking. Sex. Sex.
I hope you have enjoyed hearing about my sex life‰.
I hope it wasn’t too graphic for your taste. But you should always try to [and I learned this from a T-shirt, so it is wisdom indeed]: Remember that it only seems kinky the first time. The safest form of sex is abstinence. The next safest form of sex is with me.
†This is fictitious.
‰Most fictitious of all.