Sexual Mailbox

A loy­al read­er writes:

I’ve been read­ing Organ­ic Mechan­ic for a long time but I’m dis­ap­point­ed that you don’t talk about sex more than you do. A man of your dash­ing good looks and rogu­ish per­son­al­i­ty gets it on all the time, I am quite sure. Please tell us about your sex life. I want to know every­thing. EVERYTHING. Tell me all the naughty bits.

Well, loy­al read­er, I aim to please.

Also, thank you for send­ing me those inter­est­ing­ly arranged self por­traits and the silk under­draw­ers. I am sure that you are not the only one who won­ders about my sex­u­al prowess, for­ti­tude and fre­quen­cy. I know this because when I check the search strings that result in hits on my site, lots of them are sex­u­al. By far the most pop­u­lar is the search for ‘sick pic­tures’ fol­lowed close­ly by ‘red­heads’ and ‘hot mon­key love.’ In the next low­er ech­e­lon of search­ing peo­ple seem to be inter­est­ed in whether I have a ‘clamped girl­friend’ or ‘fudge cov­ered ore­os.’

It is also of inter­est to me how often oth­er peo­ple talk about their own sex lives or the sex lives of oth­er peo­ple. All of this inter­est in sex, or ‘pork­ing’ as I like to say, leads me to con­clude that many peo­ple must enjoy the act. I would also like to take this time to point out that I have large hands that flab­ber­gast women into cat­ty­wam­pus­ness. Sex. Sex. Sex. Pork­ing. Sex. Sex.

I hope you have enjoyed hear­ing about my sex life.

I hope it wasn’t too graph­ic for your taste. But you should always try to [and I learned this from a T-shirt, so it is wis­dom indeed]: Remem­ber that it only seems kinky the first time. The safest form of sex is absti­nence. The next safest form of sex is with me.

This is fic­ti­tious.
Still fic­ti­tious.
Most fic­ti­tious of all.

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