Crushes

daisy.jpgI work with two women that I think are just dandy. I’ve talked to the one on the third floor briefly and I was, just as briefly, her secret admirer. The other one has fantastic red hair. My crushes on them swing like a pendulum.

Currently, I am fascinated by the blonde upstairs. This is due mainly to the fact that I saw her twice last week and she said hello to me, specifically, both times. She has very nice eyes and mischievous lips that hint at her character. My coworkers refer to her as my 3rd floor girlfriend.

The redhead has amazing long red hair that most people seem to think is dyed. If so it is a very good dye job. No one seems to know anything about her. She has quite nice skin and I saw her looking at my adidas spezials last week. I refer to her as the ‘redhaired heartache.’

I’m leery of asking either one to do anything with me. Mainly because I am a gutless coward, but also because I’m still figuring out what is acceptable in a work environment. I don’t want to get in trouble. Also, am I supposed to just go to their cube and ask ’em out to dinner? I’m thinking about it too much, I know. I’m just not good at striking up conversations out of the blue.

15 thoughts on “Crushes

  1. That “redheaded heartache” looks cold-as-ice, my friend. I don’t know who your upstairs crush is, to say anything.

    An acceptable way to introduce yourself (providing none of you work on the same product, which, considering your team’s product SUCKS and people that do work on it want nothing to do with it, is a slim chance šŸ˜‰ would be to:

    a) shoot off an e-mail of introduction “Hello, I’ve been stalking you the past month. You just dropped your pen. Now you picked it up. Now, you really shouldn’t chew on pens. Anyways, I look forward to seeing you outside your apartment at 4:15. Of course, you won”t see me. Until then”

    b) Peer in X’s cube while passing, see if there’s anything possible that you can talk about. (This might be a great chance to see the stills from various homemade snuff films on her cube walls, thus saving you becoming another statistic). Then, go to suggestion (A).

    c) Join a work-based group that gives site-wide presentations. Then, during the Q&A time, call on her, regardless of if she asked a question.

    d) Walk up to her cube, say “Hello, I’m Adam. I’m 6’2″, muscular, with long blonde wavey hair. I’ve been compared to an early Fabio. I like long walks on the beach and snuggling at home”

    e) You could try..talking to her..

  2. are these methods Patrick Tested and Approved™?

    your ‘cold as ice’ analysis might well be true, but some people think i’m cold like that too.

  3. Obviously, “e” is the best real option. Being female, I have had those “secret admirer” type things, and you know – as sweet and mysterious as it may seem to you and as innocent as the intentions may be, from the other end it tends to come off as creepy stalker. (sorry to tell you)

  4. Thank you, Genevieve. That was what I said ever so long ago… Good to have some back-up.

    I DO think b) can be effective though. My friend Jef (although not trying to hit on me, I don’t think) struck up a conversation with me over email when I first started working here when he saw an Ani postcard in my cube. All he did was send me an email saying, “So did you see Ani Difranco when she came to OU?” and that was it. I’d never ever spoken to him before then but of course jumped at the chance to yammer on with someone who worked here who at least seemed to have remotely similar interests. It was non-stalkery and it kicked off a decent work-friendship.

  5. *OR*
    You could do what Patrick did when he first struck up a (non-romantic, don’t worry, Genevieve) conversation with me here:
    1) research her on-line until you find information you can blackmail her with (such as a list of vulgar nicknames for all your co-workers published on a humor-site);
    2) email her with said information from your non-work email so that your identity cannot be easily tracked down;
    3) torment her until she is blind with rage at not being able to figure out who the hell you are;
    4) finally, after days of torturing her, reveal your identity and forge a deformed and mutated and ugly (but lasting!) friendship that involves much more tormenting and deceit and blackmail.

    In other words, go with option b) or e). ; )

  6. What, nobody thinks (D) would work? It’s what I used to get Genevieve. Of course, she had no idea what Fabio looked like, so it was pretty easy to convince her that millions of women, in fact, swoon over the geeky oversensitive guy look.

  7. Just pull a sven and never talk to her and pine for her secretly. You have to make sure that you overanalyze and torture yourself as much as possible while you are at it.

  8. Confidence seems to be key. Or at least that is what my observations seem to show. Even if it is a false confidence. All you have to do is make them *think* you are confident. This fits the whole nice guys finish last. Jerk/assholes seem to be very confident and women seem to be drawn to these cocky bastards. Either that or ingore the girl and treat them like shit, but that only seems to work for rednecks and other folk who are 1 step down Darwin’s ladder.

  9. actually, I and other women I know can see through the transparent cockiness of the jerk/asshole type. And I am married to a nice guy who ended up with me simply because he talked to me and became friends first.

  10. why do men think they have to be cocky or confident?Ā  i get a kick out of the guys who stumble over their own words, it makes them seem normal, and shows that they really do get butterflies when they look at you.Ā  i think that’s cute.Ā  šŸ™‚

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