Terrorist Attack Trading Cards

I was at Jamie’s Flea Market Saturday and I found something that hit the market when I was 6 years old. Something that shows me what 17 years of bickering, global reorganization and bloodshed has changed in the zeitgeist of America. Yeah, basically nothing.

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Disclaimer

Though these cards claim to be educational, it is well to bear in mind that any words of educational value contained on the backs are refracted through a lens of aggressive and rhetorical American nationalism. While terrorism is, indeed, a terrible thing, the type of education that these collectible items provide is antagonistic and ignorant of its own effects. Moreover, they are both hilarious and sobering [a sort of shake-your head and laugh] to any person who has a decent ability to separate thoughts into subjective and objective frames. So. You just need common sense.

Benito Mussolini Terrorist Attack Trading Card

Mussolini was a terrorist? and a facist? If I had a face like Mussolini I definitely wouldn’t want to form a political party about it. The fact that he was captured by the partisans he oppressed is not ironic, it is closer to poetic justice. It would be ironic if he was executed by his own party for oppressing the partisans.

SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB

First off: “Bombs create the spectacular and safe types of destruction that terrorists are known for.” WHAT?!? To conclude, ending a sentence in a preposition ain’t good English. Thirdly, someone obviously busted out the thesaurus for ‘perfidious.’

Margaret Thatcher Naked On A Cold Day

Beware of guys hiding behind trash cans and attempting to hide behind buildings but not doing a very good job of it because their rifles stick way out. They blow up things. AMERICA SANCTIONED!

Liberty

Of course they were going to blow up the SoL. Drug-running is an impossible possibility. Our nation humiliates itself just fine, thanks.

caught

This guy looks like me when I had my beard. That creeps me out.

Qaddafi

I can’t really be funny about any of these because they are so ridiculous they speak for themselves. Note the subtle juxtaposition of the last two sentences.

Iran

The Ayatullah looks like he is speaking to masses of people burning in eternal damnation. He might be useful as a means to undermine the Soviets. This card also invokes Godwin’s Law.

BOMB

Thanks for playing! I wonder if Tom Clancy got his idea for The Sum of All Fears from this card. Goodbye!

Comments and conversations on this post

  1. i wish i had the complete set.

  2. Yes, he died 1989.

  3. the ayatola is an asshola

  4. Not many countries would print these kind of things to children, but the US do…
    It’s true then, that in america you can do anything. even print extremely racist, stupid, incorrect cards – clearly intended for kids. and get away with it! wow. anyway – geat site.

  5. yeah, it is troubling Fredrik, but it isn’t the US alone that does this kind of thing. it is just a bit easier here if you’ve got the cash. freedom of speech protects hate speech too and while the voices are allowed to be heard, hopefully smart people [or parents] can keep the messages from being taken literally.

  6. Nuts in a funny way, thanks for scanning. 🙂

  7. I have dozens of this 35 card set. I sell them for $10 postpaid anywhere in the U.S.

  8. ok those cards are a bit creepy…and very 80’s as well.

  9. wow, what a find. this deserves to roll across the blogosphere. really interesting.

  10. Love Flea markets! Great find.
    I like seeing old board games.
    The Ayoatullah is dead…right?

  11. Love it.

  12. I have 35 card sets for sale $ 10.00 I will pay the shipping. Use Pay Pal or e-mail me.

  13. Mind blowing. If I had the full set, 35 you say, I would get 35 wooden closepins and attach all these disscusting images of a world in serious turmoil to the spokes of my bicycle.

  14. Seems I can’t spell either. Oh well I’m sure that my point has been made. Please wake up people!

  15. The last card says the U.S. wouldn’t use nukes knowing their danger, but the Khaddafi card says to nuke him until his eyes glow.

    AYATOLLAH PARANOIA.

  16. @Lester Stark:
    Do you still have a set for sale?

  17. I just acquired a retail box with 36 of the wax packs. Every pack has 8 cards. The paper box is kinda beat. Wish i could photo the box/cards but my camera is at work. If anybody wants to buy them I will sell them all or trade.