The Block

Frustration1.jpgI can’t seem to write stuff any longer. Ideas are few and far be­tween and when they do ap­pear, at­tempt­ing to make some­thing come of them is al­ways abortive. There are many pos­si­bil­i­ties that could be caus­ing this. I’ve thought of a few.

Am I writ­ing for my­self or oth­ers? Should I be writ­ing for one, the other, both or nei­ther? Is this the wrong ques­tion? Writing for my­self means I’ll never write be­cause I find other things more ful­fill­ing. Writing for oth­ers means I need oth­ers to write for, which means I have to de­cide who to write for. This para­graph makes me feel dirty.

When I do write, it is pretty for­mu­laic. I sort of think of it as weav­ing. That might put me in a rut though. I think this might have some­thing to do with al­ways try­ing to find the ap­pro­pri­ate con­ceit to write with. Should I al­ways need some sort of con­ceit to write? I can al­ready tell I am putting too many rules and re­quire­ments on try­ing to write stuff. I don’t think it can be done with a check­list.

The stuff I’ve writ­ten that I like best al­ways gets the re­sponse ‘i don’t un­der­stand it, but i like it.’ This de­stroys me. The stuff I’ve writ­ten that I like best is chock full of ref­er­ences to things, so I guess I as­sume a cer­tain amount of in­tel­li­gence in the reader, or at least enough knowl­edge to un­der­stand the ref­er­ences. This is at odds with my de­sire to write things that peo­ple can en­gage in. My dog­gerel stuff comes clos­est to this, but it is trite to a great de­gree. I’ve tried stop­ping the ref­er­ences and I think this might have con­tributed greatly to my ever deep­en­ing stag­na­tion.

Maybe I should write like chil­dren do. I still thank­fully en­gage the world like a child and my imag­i­na­tion is quite child­ish. These are good. Maybe I should try to work in a Shel Silverstein vein.

Maybe I shouldn’t write at all. I’m bet­ter at putting things to­gether than I am at cre­ation. Thus I en­joy film edit­ing, writ­ing po­ems us­ing ref­er­ences al­ready loaded with mean­ing, and shuf­fling lay­ers of mean­ing and con­no­ta­tion to­gether in re­gard to pseudo-in­tel­lec­tual dis­course. I have the mind of an en­gi­neer, the soul of an artist and not enough drive or di­rec­tion to suc­ceed at ei­ther. I’m pulled, pushed, churned, turned, stretched and squashed in too many di­rec­tions to be able to ef­fec­tively set­tle on one.

I ended many sen­tences in this en­try with a prepo­si­tion.

• Also, I don’t think any­one cares whether they read some­thing I write or not. Or feels com­fort­able of­fer­ing feed­back. So it is hard to find a rea­son to work.

3 thoughts on “The Block

  1. Heyo, Harvey. I’ve been writ­ing quite a bit of short sto­ries my­self lately, so I fig­ured I’d throw you my two bits.

    As near as I can fig­ure you write for your­self and every­body else in pro­por­tion. Each story has it’s own ra­tio of you to us, that’s just the way it works. Lately I’ve been us­ing the parts of my life/​history that hurt the most, be­cause the good stuff usu­ally isn’t very in­ter­est­ing. It’s painful but also ther­a­peu­tic in a way, and the shit pores out of you. So that’s one thing to kill the writer’s block. Another thing I’ve found that works is to start with some­thing that you’ve seen or that’s hap­pened re­cently for a page or so then start to de­part from it, re­vise it and what­not ’til you don’t rec­og­nize the orig­i­nal event.

    As for ref­er­ences, it’s funny how many times the ref­er­ence will push a reader out of the story, their con­no­ta­tion to that al­lu­sion may be dif­fer­ent from yours. It’s a tricky game to use a ref­er­ence in ex­actly the right way so that the au­di­ence gets drawn in. I’d also agree with Mr. Edlund there that you’re cheat­ing a lit­tle by us­ing an al­lu­sion rather than de­scrib­ing it your­self.

    Anyhooter, take it easy bro.


  2. You’re a tal­ented writer! Don’t stop.
    Time mag­a­zine wrote an ar­ti­cle 2 weeks ago about Blogging — in­ter­est­ing read.

  3. i think you’ve got to write for your­self, but i don’t mean that in any kind of spir­i­tual oprah sense. what i mean is sim­ply that if you don’t en­joy the act of writ­ing, then there is no rea­son to do it. by “en­joy” i don’t mean that you nec­es­sar­ily sit and gig­gle and smile while you write ’cause it’s so much fun. but do you get some­thing out of it your­self? does it help you in any way? i think that is the only ques­tion worth ask­ing, be­cause you never know if oth­ers will get any­thing out of it. and if you worry too much about that, then oth­ers al­most cer­tainly will not con­nect with your work on a level that is go­ing to be sat­is­fy­ing to you.

    from my stand­point, us­ing a lot of ref­er­ences can be like set­ting up a bar­rier be­tween your­self and what you re­ally want to ex­press. it cre­ates a dis­tance. for in­stance, when asked how i’m feel­ing, i could re­ply with an hon­est and di­rect and in­cred­i­bly speci­fic (per­haps weird) de­scrip­tion of my emo­tional state, or i could say “i feel like ben af­fleck when jen­nifer lopez left him.” the lat­ter is just a less speci­fic, less unique de­scrip­tion. de­spite the ref­er­ences, it says less, not more — as­sum­ing the al­ter­na­tive was re­ally well writ­ten.

    by us­ing lots of ref­er­ences you are not writ­ing to a more in­tel­li­gent au­di­ence, you are just writ­ing to an au­di­ence that has been ex­posed to sim­i­lar cul­ture as you. you’re an in­tel­li­gent guy and you seem to read a lot — i’m will­ing to bet you’re more well-read than me and 99% of the American pop­u­la­tion. cer­tainly there is a strong con­nec­tion be­tween read­ing com­pre­hen­sion and in­tel­li­gence, but it’s not every­thing. there are tons of peo­ple out there who are very in­tel­li­gent crea­tures, but nev­er­the­less have not read many philoso­phers or seen movies by Godard or what­ever. how are you go­ing to touch them?

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