Another Willem Dafoe Dream

Willem Dafoe was the dev­il and had made a movie in the tra­di­tion of The True Sto­ry of the 3 Lit­tle Pigs. For some rea­son, my sub­con­scious choos­es Willem Dafoe to be the face of evil when I dream.

We were in my fourth grade class­room again, [for what­ev­er rea­son I’ve been dream­ing of that often] and Dafoe had the slide pro­jec­tor rigged to show us the movie. There were these big hulk­ing demons on the sides of the room dressed like secret ser­vice pro wrestling agents. That is to say, they were the size of pro wrestlers but dressed like the secret ser­vice. We are going to be forced to lis­ten to Willem Dafoe the Dev­il’s rhetoric [that is a cool phrase, the dev­il’s rhetoric] but I’m not scared.

So the movie/s­lide-show starts and now I’m in the movie and I’m the dev­il in the movie. I’m a real­ly lousy dev­il with a mis­un­der­stood idea of what true evil is. My assign­ment is Bil­bo Bag­gins. I walk through his house, which is too small for me and he does­n’t even notice me although he should be able to. I steal the Ring of Pow­er and hide it in a jar of flour in the kitchen. It is both Christ­mas­time and sum­mer at the same time. Bil­bo is freak­ing out because he can’t find his ring, I feed his anx­i­ety to the point that he thinks per­haps the ring is baked into a cook­ie that he finds under his Christ­mas tree. He beats the cook­ies on the ground a few times, then looks at me hid­ing in the ceil­ing cor­ner and says Jesus Christ, which freaks me out and expels me from the house. Now I’m in a gaze­bo on the hill above Bag End, floating/flying and frus­trat­ed that I got kicked out so eas­i­ly. Then I notice the top of the gaze­bo is crowned with a cheap plas­tic Holy Mary fig­urine from a McDon­ald’s Hap­py Meal™. As soon as I notice that I am pro­pelled to a near­by tree which is very sim­i­lar to the one found at my aun­t’s house. This tree is filled with cheap­ie Christ­mas dec­o­ra­tion type glow­ing saints and angels. I have to escape, but it takes me awhile to build up speed while fly­ing, iner­tia being what it is. I go about a quar­ter of a mile away and by now I’ve built up a decent amount of speed and am glow­ing with the heat. I swing around the tree and gaze­bo and seek out Bil­bo inside Bag End and bite him.