That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she
brought me up, I likewise give her most humble
thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my
forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,
all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do
them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the
right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which
I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.
–Much Ado About Nothing: Act I, Scene I
I figure since I’m not confident enough to actually ask a woman on a date and since I’m tired of having this unconfidence bug me I can kill two birds with one stone by adopting the celibate life. So, no grandchildren for you mother; sorry. I’m also a tightwad, dating is expensive and poor economics to boot. I’ll take as my role model Sir Benedick of Padua from Much Ado About Nothing. A man of sharp wit, pragmatic in action and noble of soul, Sir Benedick is the consummate bachelor.
I also have an ulterior motive for my supposed celibacy.
Is’t come to this? In faith, hath not the world
one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion?
Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again?
Go to, i’ faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck
into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away