Dream-​o-​nomicon

olivetre.jpgI’ve had plenty of weird-​ass dreams lately and I figure posterity will determine my contribution to the world through the examination of this blog, perhaps an account of my dreams will provide insights to that which is Adam.

I’ve been having dreams about the Democratic candidate for President of the United States of America. John Kerry was driving up a mountain and got a flat tire and I helped him change it. Meanwhile, in the sky, President George W. Bush made Pbbbtt! faces at us and then hid behind clouds. I also had another dream about Kerry where I was backstage with him [backstage in any of my dreams is always backstage at the auditorium at St. Gabriel’s] and we were shooting the shit about a video game I’ve been playing called Baldur’s Gate.

Last night I dreamed about a certain girl. This is the first time I can recall dreaming about her. She was an FBI agent assigned to me [I was a thief à la Baldur’s Gate] and we were falling in luuurrve as we rode bikes through Tremont.

I also had a dream where a bunch of kids in a field were playing stickball. This field was on a mountainside, but was level. While you were concentrating on the mountain, the field had boundaries, while you were concentrating on the field, it seemed boundless [but still on the mountain, always on the mountain]. A dragon approximately the size of a a short bus appeared and scared the crap out of the kids. Then I show up, a knight on horseback with my sword and fight the dragon, wounding it in the soft part behind the jaw. It fled into the woods and cursed me. So I roamed around errant style and eventually ended up back in the mountain meadow. Then, concentrating on the field, I went into the false-​woods to find out where the dragon ended up. As a traveled into the woods, I aged drastically until, when I found the dragon, I was really freaking old. The dragon was just as old as I was and wasn’t particularly distraught at my presence. I sat down, leaned against his warm side and we both died.

The final dream I had, I was an ogre out on the heath. The wind is brisk and constantly making the sound wind does as it whistles over a heath. I enjoy living out here in the wilderness with the other ogres and griffons and hobgoblins and wild animals. Since I’m an ogre, I live alone and rarely see other critters unless I’m getting water from the small cold river that flows down from a mountain. One day some critter tells me that a knight is loose on the heath and is killing things left and right. I am exasperated because we critters out here on the heath just mind out own business but every once in a while some knight gets it into his head that we terrorize villagers and need destroyed. So I set out to fight the knight, since that seems to be what he has in mind. The nature of the heath is such that the longer I travel in search of my goal, the less likely I am to find it. So goes the same with the knight. Eventually we run into each other, completely by accident, and I smush him.

I need to play less Baldur’s Gate.