When I was a very small child, I took swimming lessons at the public pool. I assume there was some trepidation on my part, but learn to swim I sort of did, at the shallow end of the pool. However, as part of the coursework, we had to jump off the diving board at the deep end of the pool. I wasn’t very keen on doing that.
In fact, I wouldn’t do it. For day after day I refused to make the leap. Seeing other kids do it and survive [miraculously] did nothing to convince me to jump off the board. Having someone there to catch me did nothing to convince me to jump off the board. I ended up having to get bribed into it. I believe the promise was a G.I. Joe of some sort. I also recall trying to wheedle an entire vehicle out of the person [my grandfather i think, i was very very young] who was bribing me.
I ended up jumping off the diving board, of course. But I think that my point in telling this story is that from an early age, I have been either unwilling to take risks or unwilling to do something that doesn’t have some sort of tangible reward. I’m still hesitant to do anything risky [mostly emotionally] unless I’m certain of some sort of positive outcome. This is probably very selfish.