Feliz Navidad

The worst Christ­mas song in the world is Feliz Navi­dad. I had hoped to make it through the hol­i­day sea­son with­out hear­ing its Nutra-​Sweet™ world-​music, Broadway-​Elvis pas­tiche, but my plans were most cru­elly foiled yes­ter­day at the post office.

The song has no redeemable qual­i­ties and is only use­ful inso­far as it can be made to stick in the head of your hated enemy. Its pow­ers rival those of It’s a Small World.

I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAAAHHHHRT!

Comments on this post

  1. genevieve

    I think it’s fun… total kitsch

  2. epm

    i totally agree. it is the worst song…the worst. and there are a lot of bad ones out there (“rockin’ around the christ­mas tree,” “jin­gle bell rock,” both of which aren’t even rock n’ roll songs any­way). it’s so lame. christ­mas is one of the coolest hol­i­days, but there is no one who can make a decent song about it. “feliz navi­dad” makes me want to hate christ­mas. when i was young and in grade school we had to per­form christ­mas songs in front of the whole school. it sucked. i remem­ber hav­ing to sing “o lit­tle town of beth­le­hem.” now that i think back on it, i think my teacher was anti-​semitic. i always felt bad for the girl who was a jehovah’s wit­ness, too. she couldn’t par­tic­i­pate and she spent much of the month of decem­ber in the school library because she couldn’t par­tic­i­pate in the hol­i­day b.s. it is like she got cheated out of a month of her edu­ca­tion every year until high school. i remem­ber, too, how greedy we were made in grade school. each year the teach­ers would make us do lit­tle projects that included writ­ing a christ­mas list for santa. what a crock. i never really liked my lists any­way. we were forced to make them, and all it became was a com­pe­ti­tion between all the kids in the class to see who could come up with the most impres­sive list. so, i ended up putting things on the lists i didn’t even want at all just so that my list was the most impres­sive. i’m start­ing not to like christ­mas any­more the more i think about this. and “feliz navi­dad.” what a joke. peo­ple should be forced to sing songs from the mid­dle ages dur­ing christ­mas. in mid­dle eng­lish, span­ish, and french. latin, if they have any latin car­ols, which i am sure they do. they need to tighten up this hol­i­day a bit, clean up the crappy songs and get rid of the riff-​raff adver­tise­ments on tv. have you SEEN the old navy commercials…with the remade christ­mas songs that sound so bas­tardized that they barely resem­ble christ­mas songs and just sound like mean­ing­less chants about sweaters and leg­warm­ers? they should be banned. a whole­sale ban on christ­mas com­mer­cials and songs. that is what i am look­ing for. oh yeah, and a ban on christ­mas in grade school because it is dis­crim­i­na­tory and stu­pid and makes chil­dren greedy. instead on christ­mas we should be forced to sit around a poorly dec­o­rated christ­mas tree, sing mid­dle eng­lish car­ols, and eat stale bread. that is the way i think the hol­i­day should be.

  3. Patrick

    wow..that’s a blog post unto itself.

  4. jmay

    ok so I’m a bit of a scrouge as well, but not quite that bad. I just hate the thought of Christ­mas stuff start­ing before Advent starts. I like hav­ing Thanks­giv­ing and not hav­ing Christ­mas run up on that hol­i­day. As it is now, Hal­loween stuff goes up right after the 4th of July and they don’t even have the Hal­loween Candy marked to 25% off on Nov. 1, and they have all of the Christ­mas crap up. I mock those who buy their Chris­tams crap 1.)Before it is off­i­cally “fall” and 2.) the day after Thanksgiving.…chumps. I tend to buy x-​mas presents in the week (or two) before. Besides the really best time to get christ­mas stuff is around New Years. I love the fact that I can get a $250 tree for $50 because 1.) It still cost less than that to make/​ship and 2.) Store own­ers are way too lazy to want to pack it up and put in storage.

  5. peppermint

    What about the song “I saw Mommy kiss­ing Santa Claus”?
    As a child – who believed in Santa until she was, ahem, ten – I was dis­turbed by this song for a long time. I thought Mommy was an infi­del. It gave me the creeps.

  6. harvey

    I don’t think I’ve ever had an opin­ion on that song. Actu­ally, it’d be kind of cool to have Santa as a father. Joyrides on the sleigh and free presents year ’round.

  7. Patrick

    There’s always the Pee­Wee Her­man ver­sion “I saw Daddy kiss­ing Santa Claus”

  8. miley cyrus

    christ­mas songs are the best