Feliz Navidad

The worst Christmas song in the world is Feliz Navidad. I had hoped to make it through the holiday season without hearing its Nutra-Sweet™ world-music, Broadway-Elvis pastiche, but my plans were most cruelly foiled yesterday at the post office.

The song has no redeemable qualities and is only useful insofar as it can be made to stick in the head of your hated enemy. Its powers rival those of It’s a Small World.

I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAAAHHHHRT!

8 thoughts on “Feliz Navidad

  1. i totally agree. it is the worst song…the worst. and there are a lot of bad ones out there (“rockin’ around the christmas tree,” “jingle bell rock,” both of which aren’t even rock n’ roll songs anyway). it’s so lame. christmas is one of the coolest holidays, but there is no one who can make a decent song about it. “feliz navidad” makes me want to hate christmas. when i was young and in grade school we had to perform christmas songs in front of the whole school. it sucked. i remember having to sing “o little town of bethlehem.” now that i think back on it, i think my teacher was anti-semitic. i always felt bad for the girl who was a jehovah’s witness, too. she couldn’t participate and she spent much of the month of december in the school library because she couldn’t participate in the holiday b.s. it is like she got cheated out of a month of her education every year until high school. i remember, too, how greedy we were made in grade school. each year the teachers would make us do little projects that included writing a christmas list for santa. what a crock. i never really liked my lists anyway. we were forced to make them, and all it became was a competition between all the kids in the class to see who could come up with the most impressive list. so, i ended up putting things on the lists i didn’t even want at all just so that my list was the most impressive. i’m starting not to like christmas anymore the more i think about this. and “feliz navidad.” what a joke. people should be forced to sing songs from the middle ages during christmas. in middle english, spanish, and french. latin, if they have any latin carols, which i am sure they do. they need to tighten up this holiday a bit, clean up the crappy songs and get rid of the riff-raff advertisements on tv. have you SEEN the old navy commercials…with the remade christmas songs that sound so bastardized that they barely resemble christmas songs and just sound like meaningless chants about sweaters and legwarmers? they should be banned. a wholesale ban on christmas commercials and songs. that is what i am looking for. oh yeah, and a ban on christmas in grade school because it is discriminatory and stupid and makes children greedy. instead on christmas we should be forced to sit around a poorly decorated christmas tree, sing middle english carols, and eat stale bread. that is the way i think the holiday should be.

  2. ok so I’m a bit of a scrouge as well, but not quite that bad. I just hate the thought of Christmas stuff starting before Advent starts. I like having Thanksgiving and not having Christmas run up on that holiday. As it is now, Halloween stuff goes up right after the 4th of July and they don’t even have the Halloween Candy marked to 25% off on Nov. 1, and they have all of the Christmas crap up. I mock those who buy their Christams crap 1.)Before it is offically “fall” and 2.) the day after Thanksgiving….chumps. I tend to buy x-mas presents in the week (or two) before. Besides the really best time to get christmas stuff is around New Years. I love the fact that I can get a $250 tree for $50 because 1.) It still cost less than that to make/ship and 2.) Store owners are way too lazy to want to pack it up and put in storage.

  3. What about the song “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus”?
    As a child–who believed in Santa until she was, ahem, ten–I was disturbed by this song for a long time. I thought Mommy was an infidel. It gave me the creeps.

  4. I don’t think I’ve ever had an opinion on that song. Actually, it’d be kind of cool to have Santa as a father. Joyrides on the sleigh and free presents year ’round.

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