Feliz Navidad

The worst Christmas song in the world is Feliz Navidad. I had hoped to make it through the hol­i­day sea­son with­out hear­ing its Nutra-Sweet™ world-mu­sic, Broadway-Elvis pas­tiche, but my plans were most cru­el­ly foiled yes­ter­day at the post of­fice.

The song has no re­deemable qual­i­ties and is on­ly use­ful in­so­far as it can be made to stick in the head of your hat­ed en­e­my. Its pow­ers ri­val those of It’s a Small World.

I WANNA WISH YOUMERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAAAHHHHRT!

8 thoughts on “Feliz Navidad

  1. i to­tal­ly agree. it is the worst song…the worst. and there are a lot of bad ones out there (“rock­in’ around the christ­mas tree,” “jin­gle bell rock,” both of which aren’t even rock n’ roll songs any­way). it’s so lame. christ­mas is one of the coolest hol­i­days, but there is no one who can make a de­cent song about it. “fe­liz navi­dad” makes me want to hate christ­mas. when i was young and in grade school we had to per­form christ­mas songs in front of the whole school. it sucked. i re­mem­ber hav­ing to sing “o lit­tle town of beth­le­hem.” now that i think back on it, i think my teacher was an­ti-se­mit­ic. i al­ways felt bad for the girl who was a jehovah’s wit­ness, too. she couldn’t par­tic­i­pate and she spent much of the mon­th of de­cem­ber in the school li­brary be­cause she couldn’t par­tic­i­pate in the hol­i­day b.s. it is like she got cheat­ed out of a mon­th of her ed­u­ca­tion every year un­til high school. i re­mem­ber, too, how greedy we were made in grade school. each year the teach­ers would make us do lit­tle projects that in­clud­ed writ­ing a christ­mas list for san­ta. what a crock. i nev­er re­al­ly liked my lists any­way. we were forced to make them, and all it be­came was a com­pe­ti­tion be­tween all the kids in the class to see who could come up with the most im­pres­sive list. so, i end­ed up putting things on the lists i didn’t even want at all just so that my list was the most im­pres­sive. i’m start­ing not to like christ­mas any­more the more i think about this. and “fe­liz navi­dad.” what a joke. peo­ple should be forced to sing songs from the mid­dle ages dur­ing christ­mas. in mid­dle eng­lish, span­ish, and french. lat­in, if they have any lat­in car­ols, which i am sure they do. they need to tight­en up this hol­i­day a bit, clean up the crap­py songs and get rid of the riff-raff ad­ver­tise­ments on tv. have you SEEN the old navy commercials…with the re­made christ­mas songs that sound so bas­tardized that they bare­ly re­sem­ble christ­mas songs and just sound like mean­ing­less chants about sweaters and leg­warm­ers? they should be banned. a whole­sale ban on christ­mas com­mer­cials and songs. that is what i am look­ing for. oh yeah, and a ban on christ­mas in grade school be­cause it is dis­crim­i­na­to­ry and stu­pid and makes chil­dren greedy. in­stead on christ­mas we should be forced to sit around a poor­ly dec­o­rat­ed christ­mas tree, sing mid­dle eng­lish car­ols, and eat stale bread. that is the way i think the hol­i­day should be.

  2. ok so I’m a bit of a scrouge as well, but not quite that bad. I just hate the thought of Christmas stuff start­ing be­fore Advent starts. I like hav­ing Thanksgiving and not hav­ing Christmas run up on that hol­i­day. As it is now, Halloween stuff goes up right af­ter the 4th of July and they don’t even have the Halloween Candy marked to 25% off on Nov. 1, and they have all of the Christmas crap up. I mock those who buy their Christams crap 1.)Before it is off­i­cal­ly “fall” and 2.) the day af­ter Thanksgiving.…chumps. I tend to buy x-mas presents in the week (or two) be­fore. Besides the re­al­ly best time to get christ­mas stuff is around New Years. I love the fact that I can get a $250 tree for $50 be­cause 1.) It still cost less than that to make/​ship and 2.) Store own­ers are way too lazy to want to pack it up and put in stor­age.

  3. What about the song “I saw Mommy kiss­ing Santa Claus”?
    As a child – who be­lieved in Santa un­til she was, ahem, ten – I was dis­turbed by this song for a long time. I thought Mommy was an in­fi­del. It gave me the creeps.

  4. I don’t think I’ve ever had an opin­ion on that song. Actually, it’d be kind of cool to have Santa as a fa­ther. Joyrides on the sleigh and free presents year ’round.

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