Doctor Roulette

Peo­ple make a big deal about want­i­ng to pick their doc­tor as a part of their health plan. I guess so they can get the per­son they want who will pro­vide the care they want. Osten­si­bly. I’ve not been to a den­tist in at least five years [since before I got my braces], and it has been at least three since I went to an eye doc­tor. So in that time I’ve moved to Cleve­land. And I don’t know jack­shit about any docs around here.

A cer­tain den­tist in West­lake has been rec­om­mend­ed to me:

if you are lucky he will flex his biceps for you.
so hot that he makes you ner­vous.
and he’s SOOO nice.
if he splat­ters water on your face he gets all apolo­getic and wipes it.
and i have real­ly dry lips, so he always puts Vase­line on my lips b4 he starts clean­ing.

i total­ly HEART this guy

But I think my cowork­er has the wrong idea about what I am look­ing for in a den­tist. I end­ed up pick­ing a lady den­tist only a cou­ple of years ear­li­er than me. I fig­ure once she sees my excel­lent teeth that she’ll fall deeply in love with them and we’ll get mar­ried.

I’ve picked some ran­dom eye doc­tor too. I guess the point is that the infor­ma­tion that is pro­vid­ed me by Aet­na gives absolute­ly no clue as to the type of care I might receive, so pick­ing a den­tist because she might be young and hot is about the best rea­son­ing that can be sieved through the giant buck­et of care providers that Aet­na spits out. And if word of mouth is the best way to get a doc­tor it appears that hot­ness is again the best judge of care. Who knew health care was such a meat mar­ket?