Customer Service

I hate motherfucking, here jump-​through-​this hoop, and this hoop, and this hoop, fill it out in triplicate with a virgin witness and then so sorry we’re closed come back when it isn’t The Feast of St. Bureaucrat, cock-​blocking red tape. So here is a not good poem.

Press one to speak
in triplicate tongues
of flame in my head
ache; Now serving
no​.one has a
straight answer.

Please hold.
Please hold.

The no​.you have
dialed is out of
service with a
smile; Now serving
no​.one in their
right mind.

Please hold.
Please hold.

Closed for
lunch and just
because; Now serving
no​.one wants
to be here.

Ain’t nothing slower
than the speed of

Share Your Thought