Customer Service

I hate motherfucking, here jump-through-this hoop, and this hoop, and this hoop, fill it out in triplicate with a virgin witness and then so sorry we’re closed come back when it isn’t The Feast of St. Bureaucrat, cock-blocking red tape. So here is a not good poem.

Press one to speak
in triplicate tongues
of flame in my head
ache; Now serving
no.one has a
straight answer.

Please hold.
Please hold.

The no.you have
dialed is out of
service with a
smile; Now serving
no.one in their
right mind.

Please hold.
Please hold.

Closed for
lunch and just
because; Now serving
no.one wants
to be here.

Ain’t nothing slower
than the speed of
incompetence.