This was inspired by a comment by Jef, elsewhere. Workshop away, o my brothers.
I’m so dizzy
my head is spinning
like a whirlpool and
Rumi leaps past me
like some
great
cat
or
a
wild
horse;
he is drunk
again; or always
and the wind whips
his auguries
into
dust
devils. He
keeps shouting
nonsense. Drunk I
tell you. He’s been
dancing for two days now
I don’t think he’ll
ever stop. I slept
last night and
woke with a
dream caught
in my throat like
a bit of sand. Rumi spun
by, white eyes white teeth
white hair like a dead bush
spinning, a cup of wine in
each hand shouting still
laughing. SHUT UP
old man you make
me ill I can’t
keep up with
you You
must be drunk.
Don’t you know there
are lions in these hills?
Dervish
Comments and conversations on this post
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somewhat unrelated, you do know the first three lines of the poem are from Vic Reeves song ‘Dizzy’ (or was that the point?)
I just kept wanting to sing “..and it’s you, girl, making it spin. You’re making me Dizzy”
This is not a criticism. I just found it amusing.
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That was intentional.
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while it was intentional, i’m not sure the filched lyrics work with the rest of the poem, which I liked. The reference seemed too forced and unrelated. Unless I am missing something.
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mo
i like. a lot.
i think the fever does you good.
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I like. Very much.
Glad my comment could inspire something so cool.
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[...] • Breaking Up is Hard To Do • Dervish • Haunted House [2nd version] • Smober the Sock Goblin • Cartography [...]
That rocks, Adam.
I like the visual whirl of the poem too–and yet you don’t ruin it with badly-chosen linebreaks or anything by trying to get the form to look like that.
Impressive.