Dervish

This was inspired by a comment by Jef, elsewhere. Workshop away, o my brothers.

I’m so dizzy
my head is spinning
like a whirlpool and
Rumi leaps past me
like some
great
cat
or
a
wild
horse;
he is drunk
again; or always
and the wind whips
his auguries
into
dust
devils. He
keeps shouting
nonsense. Drunk I
tell you. He’s been
dancing for two days now
I don’t think he’ll
ever stop. I slept
last night and
woke with a
dream caught
in my throat like
a bit of sand. Rumi spun
by, white eyes white teeth
white hair like a dead bush
spinning, a cup of wine in
each hand shouting still
laughing. SHUT UP
old man you make
me ill I can’t
keep up with
you You
must be drunk.
Don’t you know there
are lions in these hills?

Comments and conversations on this post

  1. That rocks, Adam.

    I like the visual whirl of the poem too–and yet you don’t ruin it with badly-chosen linebreaks or anything by trying to get the form to look like that.

    Impressive.

  2. somewhat unrelated, you do know the first three lines of the poem are from Vic Reeves song ‘Dizzy’ (or was that the point?)

    I just kept wanting to sing “..and it’s you, girl, making it spin. You’re making me Dizzy”

    This is not a criticism. I just found it amusing.

  3. That was intentional. 🙂

  4. while it was intentional, i’m not sure the filched lyrics work with the rest of the poem, which I liked. The reference seemed too forced and unrelated. Unless I am missing something.

  5. i like. a lot.

    i think the fever does you good. 😉

  6. I like. Very much.

    Glad my comment could inspire something so cool.

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