Iodine Tang

Like any­one cares to hear about some­one else’s med­ical stuff. I’ll try to make it as inter­est­ing as pos­si­ble. I had a CT scan on my abdomen yes­ter­day. This began with con­sum­ing a litre of a tang and iodine solu­tion and end­ed with me pulling my pants up. If this sounds like cer­tain movies you’ve seen, you are a sick per­son.

I like to show up real­ly ear­ly to any­thing involv­ing a med­ical pro­ce­dure. That way I’m usu­al­ly in the room get­ting stuff done when the appoint­ment was sup­posed to hap­pen. Soem­times I even get in ear­ly. This hap­pened yes­ter­day. They gave me this litre of the iodine tang and told me to drink as much as pos­si­ble in a half hour. I pret­ty much chugged the whole thing, it was way too sweet, way flat and had an iodine after­taste. Even­tu­al­ly they took me into this room and I reclined on this bench, was cov­ered with a white cloth and told to pull down my pants. Then 4 real­ly hot nurs­es came in and Then I was insert­ed into this spin­ning donut. It remind­ed me a bit of the cyber-donut sculp­ture from Notre Dame. Then I got inject­ed with more iodine and this warm feel­ing suf­fused me that made me laugh because it felt so strange. Then my coitus with the spin­ning donut was inter­rup­tused as I was with­drawn, low­ered, told to pull my pants up and get the hell out.

I’m sup­posed to get more blood drawn today, and I got a call from my aunt last night telling me to not leave until I see my doc­tor. I got a call from my aunt and not my moth­er because I specif­i­cal­ly request­ed that my moth­er not call me because I have noth­ing to update her about. She called yes­ter­day morn­ing at about 8:00am. There is no escape from the women in my fam­i­ly.