Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese

I hope to the Almighty Dog that my bud­dy from col­lege who is from Philadel­phia nev­er reads this. I’ve been eat­ing pret­ty health­ily late­ly [apart from eat­ing a whole box of Donut Sticks on Mon­day], so today I pur­chased the Pierre™ Philly Style Cheeses­teak Beef Steak Pat­ty Sand­wich with Green Pep­pers, Onions and Cheese from that bas­tard of a vendy down­stairs.

This item cost $2.05, and weighs in at a not so plump 6.2 ounces. Full nutri­tion infor­ma­tion can be found here. But the main things to note are the 41% RDA of fat and the 33% RDS of sodi­um in this, er, “sand­wich.” The actu­al item looks noth­ing like the pic­ture or the pack­age. Instead, it resem­bles noth­ing so much as a large, steam­ing mag­got. There was lit­tle sign indi­cat­ing any onion or green pep­per was present and I think the cheese is actu­al­ly par­tial­ly digest­ed infant for­mu­la. At least, it looks like what junior is liable to belch up after chug­ging on a bot­tle for an hour or two. The meat itself was the low­est qual­i­ty pos­si­ble. Think Sal­is­bury steak with sui­ci­dal ten­den­cies.

I fear that I am start­ing to acquire a taste for the Pierre Foods con­coc­tions. Per­haps I shall take a field trip down to Cincin­nati one day and vis­it their fine estab­lish­ment. My stom­ach hurts. I’m going to eat my actu­al lunch now. A brie and toma­to sand­wich and a gold­en deli­cious apple.

2 Replies

  • I can’t believe you can eat *any­thing* after eat­ing that, with­out hav­ing to have a good puke first.

    I saw it, there was tru­ly one piece of onion and one piece of green pep­per, both of which looked like they’d been hauled out of the trash. The cheese…well, call­ing it actu­al­ly “cheese” is being a bit gen­er­ous.

  • I fear for your gas­troin­testi­nal well-being, Mr. Har­vey.

    Friend Patrick, I think you need to plan an inter­ven­tion before adam starts turn­ing a per­ma­nent, del­i­cate shade of orange or green…

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