Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese

I hope to the Almighty Dog that my buddy from college who is from Philadelphia never reads this. I’ve been eating pretty healthily lately [apart from eating a whole box of Donut Sticks on Monday], so today I purchased the Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese from that bastard of a vendy downstairs.

This item cost $2.05, and weighs in at a not so plump 6.2 ounces. Full nutrition information can be found here. But the main things to note are the 41% RDA of fat and the 33% RDS of sodium in this, er, “sandwich.” The actual item looks nothing like the picture or the package. Instead, it resembles nothing so much as a large, steaming maggot. There was little sign indicating any onion or green pepper was present and I think the cheese is actually partially digested infant formula. At least, it looks like what junior is liable to belch up after chugging on a bottle for an hour or two. The meat itself was the lowest quality possible. Think Salisbury steak with suicidal tendencies.

I fear that I am starting to acquire a taste for the Pierre Foods concoctions. Perhaps I shall take a field trip down to Cincinnati one day and visit their fine establishment. My stomach hurts. I’m going to eat my actual lunch now. A brie and tomato sandwich and a golden delicious apple.

2 thoughts on “Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese

  1. I can’t believe you can eat *anything* after eating that, without having to have a good puke first.

    I saw it, there was truly one piece of onion and one piece of green pepper, both of which looked like they’d been hauled out of the trash. The cheese…well, calling it actually “cheese” is being a bit generous.

  2. I fear for your gastrointestinal well-being, Mr. Harvey.

    Friend Patrick, I think you need to plan an intervention before adam starts turning a permanent, delicate shade of orange or green…

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