Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese

I hope to the Almighty Dog that my bud­dy from col­lege who is from Philadelphia nev­er reads this. I’ve been eat­ing pret­ty health­ily late­ly [apart from eat­ing a whole box of Donut Sticks on Monday], so to­day I pur­chased the Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese from that bas­tard of a vendy down­stairs.

This item cost $2.05, and weighs in at a not so plump 6.2 ounces. Full nu­tri­tion in­for­ma­tion can be found here. But the main things to note are the 41% RDA of fat and the 33% RDS of sodi­um in this, er, “sand­wich.” The ac­tu­al item looks noth­ing like the pic­ture or the pack­age. Instead, it re­sem­bles noth­ing so much as a large, steam­ing mag­got. There was lit­tle sign in­di­cat­ing any onion or green pep­per was present and I think the cheese is ac­tu­al­ly par­tial­ly di­gest­ed in­fant for­mu­la. At least, it looks like what ju­nior is li­able to belch up af­ter chug­ging on a bot­tle for an hour or two. The meat it­self was the low­est qual­i­ty pos­si­ble. Think Salisbury steak with sui­ci­dal ten­den­cies.

I fear that I am start­ing to ac­quire a taste for the Pierre Foods con­coc­tions. Perhaps I shall take a field trip down to Cincinnati one day and vis­it their fine es­tab­lish­ment. My stom­ach hurts. I’m go­ing to eat my ac­tu­al lunch now. A brie and toma­to sand­wich and a gold­en de­li­cious ap­ple.

2 thoughts on “Pierre™ Philly Style Cheesesteak Beef Steak Patty Sandwich with Green Peppers, Onions and Cheese

  1. I can’t be­lieve you can eat *any­thing* af­ter eat­ing that, with­out hav­ing to have a good puke first.

    I saw it, there was tru­ly one piece of onion and one piece of green pep­per, both of which looked like they’d been hauled out of the trash. The cheese…well, call­ing it ac­tu­al­ly “cheese” is be­ing a bit gen­er­ous.

  2. I fear for your gas­troin­testi­nal well-be­ing, Mr. Harvey.

    Friend Patrick, I think you need to plan an in­ter­ven­tion be­fore adam starts turn­ing a per­ma­nent, del­i­cate shade of or­ange or green…

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