My Physical Deformities

Today I will describe, in minute detail, my var­i­ous phys­i­cal defor­mi­ties. Drum­roll, please.

  • I have a slight limp in my left leg.
  • My nose is crooked.
  • The left side of my face is low­er than the right side.
  • My left eye is less open than my right eye.
  • Some­times I get long pubic-like nose­hairs.
  • I am slow­ly going bald.
  • I am miss­ing a tooth.
  • I have a long scar on my right tem­ple.
  • I have a mutant patch of hair on the right side of my chest that is not matched on the left side.
  • I have a mole on my arm that grows pubic-like nose hairs.
  • I have a few pock­marks. [Should have lis­tened to mom when I had chick­en pox]
  • I slouch.

Thank you.

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