I went to the den­tist for the first time in sev­er­al years today. They kept exclaim­ing over how nice my teeth were, but it seems like going to the den­tist is now akin to get­ting your oil changed at Lube­Town; every three sec­onds some­one is try­ing to sell you a lit­tle perk that you don’t need. No, I don’t want to drop a saw­buck of c-notes to get my teeth whitened, nor do I want to shell out a few less clams for white strips, even if they are 20 times stronger than what you can buy in the store. Nor do I need a flu­o­ride treat­ment, that shit is a gov­ern­ment con­spir­a­cy to dis­pose of tox­ic waste. Besides, I drink so much tea that I’m like­ly flu­o­ri­dat­ed up to my eye­teeth any­way.

I do need to start floss­ing though, I agree with them on that point.

3 Replies

  • My first procla­ma­tion of inde­pen­dence after I turned 18 was: I will nev­er go to the den­tist again! Cold food and drinks can­not touch the teeth on the left side of my mouth, but that’s nei­ther here nor there.

  • There is noth­ing quite like snog­ging a girl whose mouth smells like a hot land­fill. Not that I have any expe­ri­ence with that; but I’m sure there is noth­ing quite like it.

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