I’m trying to come up with effective ways to get this place at which I interviewed last week to hire me. I woke up Sunday morning with the idea to make a Flash infomercial showcasing my talents. It was only the third time I’d used Flash, and hopefully the end result didn’t look too PowerPointy. I think this was a good idea because not only does it illustrate my creativity and eagerness to work for the aforementioned yet currently remaining anonymous place of business, but it was also a way for me to show my humor and refresh the applicability of my interests in the memory of my interviewer.
I am currently plotting other sinister ways in which I can infiltrate. These may or may not include:
• Using Mournful Puppy Eyes.
• Unabashed Begging.
• A Singing Telegram.
• Almost anonymous donations of large quantities of unmarked, non-sequential $20s.
• Hunger Strike Until Hired.
• Bringing the office cocaine-laced fudge, getting everyone addicted and becoming the puppet master of the whole organization.
• Constructing a Moon Laser and threatening to rain fiery destruction upon their pitiful carcasses.
• Create a dummy organization focused on cutting into their margins and then appear with the Only Possible Way™ to fight off the competitor.