Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in a very long time. After work I sat down and read for six and a half hours. I should have continued searching for jobs [currently looking in Toronto] or worked on the redesign for Tremonter or read some Neighborhood Connections Grant Proposals or done some more hoofwork trying to find get a list of youth programming for the 2007 Cleveland Leadership Summit or even gone for a run or made dinner or at least done the dishes or vacuumed. I currently have no motivation. I’ve been working so hard at so many different things for so long and still haven’t gotten anywhere [or so it appears to me]. I’ve been looking for a new job for two years now and have had three and a half interviews in that entire time. One of my coworkers, fresh out of college, just got a new job making $6k more than I do.
There is obviously something wrong with how I search for jobs or my resume or my comportment in the interview that wrecks me. I need to figure out what that is, exactly, and fix it. Although being polished and the right fit for the job doesn’t mean the job is going to be out there, in Cleveland at least. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life and do it. Currently I’ve decided that when and if I ever get $4k saved I’ll just quit and move from Cleveland. It is hard to save that much when I still make under $29k after nearly three years and one promotion. Where will I go? I don’t know. What I’ll do when I get there? I don’t know. Wherever it is, it’ll have to have more opportunities for me than Cleveland does, that’s for certain.
I love Tremont, I love the style of Cleveland and its entertainment scene, I love the people. I’ll continue to do the best I can for the city until the day I leave. But I’m out. That’s the only motivation I have today. Cleveland’s got everything I want in a city except for a good, challenging and interesting job.