I did my clothes shopping last night, and the bane of my clothes shopping existence continues. It is impossible to find pants in my size, especially when I’m looking for a certain style. The guy at Dillard’s told me that I should drink more beer until I have a 40-inch waistline, because then I can shop in the Big and Tall section. I just want 34×34 flat-front pants without cuffs, one or two pairs in wool and one or two pairs with a slight pattern. A herringbone would be excellent. Two pairs black, one charcoal, one dark brown.

I did manage to snag a pair of dark blue pants at The Gap for $20 that were in my size, but I refuse to drop $98 for one pair of pants at Express Men, no matter how awesome they are. I picked up 3 more MX shirts from there, they were on sale and those shirts fit me perfectly. I finally got some nice black dress shoes as well. They were expensive, but if I’m going to be wearing them 40 hours a week I want them to be as comfortable as possible, and these are more comfortable than my Spezials.

I start my new job on Monday. I met another county employee last night who gave me her card because she wants some work done to her site, and people keep asking me if I’m going to improve the Auditor or Recorder sites. God knows they need it, but those sites are of the few that my division doesn’t have a hand in. People keep directing me to the Summit County site, which has GIS and MIS tools in addition to other great database leverage to serve county residents. I have a feeling I’ll be spending a lot of time looking at how other places around the country do their sites in order to get some ideas on usability and implementation.

I love the fact that I’m in a position where I can bring the average person’s ideas to the table and maybe implement them if all works out. Even though I’ve not even officially started yet. Even though I wasn’t elected, I’m still holding a public office, and a respect for service to the public was probably unknowingly instilled in my by my grandpa. That’s some good motivation.

I like cruising down the dirt roads of the internet to see what pops up. Dead sites, deleted threads, random things from the Internet Archive and somehow by doing this I ended up on a zed-list celebrity gossip site that had paparazzi pictures of Britney Spears no-no spot. In an interesting bifurcation of thought I clicked on the link. I didn’t really want to see it, but I was interested in what all the fuss was about. It looked like any other no-no spot. What was more interesting to me was the c-section scar.

In any case, there is this prevalent fascination with what certain celebrities look like with the wrinkly bits visible. Almost as if, since they have celebrity, their junk must look or somehow be better than someone elses. It is self-consciously chuckle-dumb. Everybody has the same bits, more or less, so paying attention to personality, focus and wisdom should be the main swing of things. Except it’s easier to let the lizard hind-brain do the thinking, especially when teh internets are involved.

I finally have to wear adult clothes to work, and alas, I don’t really know where to go to get them. Recommendations have included outlet shopping [which I'll probably hit this weekend] and a variety of places that are too expensive for my taste. Although The Gap sounds like it might hold possibilities and there is one 2 miles from here. Maybe I’ll go there first instead of driving to Lodi.

I watched the classic Christmas movie Eyes Wide Shut while wrapping gifts last night. Man does that movie suck. It was the only film left in my Stanley Kubrick Collection that I hadn’t made it all the way through. I’d usually get about ten minutes in and then glaze over. I did get most of my wrapping done, and now I have only a few more things to buy to finish up. Certain people have been especially difficult to buy for this year. I also have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I bought a tiny Norfolk pine, too small even for an ornament. Instead of putting presents under it, I’ve had to put the tree on top of them. I’m using red wrapping paper and green ribbon as this year’s theme. I got 100 yards of ribbon for $6 at Pat Catan’s the other day. I’m sure I’ll be using it for the next 20 years.

My ribs hurt. I feel like I was sacked by a Samoan a few times this weekend. Maybe Andy was using me as a blocking dummy when I wasn’t looking.

I can now certainly afford a house in Cleveland. Whether I can afford a house in Tremont is another matter. I’ve done some research in the past [1, 2] and the prognosis wasn’t good. There is an upcoming Tremont-wide open house that might be a good chance for me to find something, but it still looks like most of the places are more than I can afford. I don’t want to spend over $80k for a home or $110 for a duplex, but most of what I’ve seen on the market is going for twice that.

Even the tiniest of houses in the trendy part of Tremont are selling for $85k. This one looks much more promising, although the crime in that part of Tremont is pretty bad. There is a duplex on W.10th, right around the corner from where I live that I’d like to look at, but I can’t find the listing for it anywhere. There are plenty of options actually, but with prices so inflated in this area, I wonder what the catch is. Nonetheless I can look and learn all I want.

Here are some that I’ve found in just brief bouts of looking:

• 1054 Holmden
• 2603 W. 15th. [More than I want to spend on a single family, but I could afford it.]
• 2481 Thurman Ave. [Might have some possibilities, but many houses on Thurman are completely bombed out, and this price for a 2-family makes me think it might be.].
• 2165 Columbus [I can't decide if proximity to the VTR is a good or bad thing.]

I tried to navigate the Howard-Hanna Smythe-Cramer site, but it is completely useless in terms of searching. I polled my neighbors for recommendations for a good realtor and will also look in to the FSBO places. One of my neighbors also offered to help draw up the contract if I find a FSBO that suits me.

Sure I want to have my cake and eat it too, but mainly I want a good price on a solid house that isn’t going to require massive amounts of rehabilitating. The house that I looked at across the street from where I currently live was on the market for $40k had no furnace or ductwork, exposed wiring and lathing and rotten siding and ceilings. The guy who bought it probably put that much if not more into it to make it livable again. That’s what I want to avoid.

I am now the proud owner of a titanium spork.

DO NOT MOCK ME!

Today is my 26th birthday anniversary. Today I also gave my two weeks notice at my place of employment. I finally have a new job after two years of looking! Actually I had two new jobs. On Thursday I received two job offers within a few hours of each other. One in New York City working as webmaster in a newsroom for a big financial news site and one for a web/graphic design position redesigning county office websites at the Cuyahoga County offices in downtown Cleveland.

It was a very tough decision. I spent much of Friday during my drive to Notre Dame on the phone with folks in NYC and much of the rest of the weekend making cost of living calculations and effort of move calculations and lifestyle calculations and talking with my friends and family about the various options. I’ve decided to stay in Cleveland. By staying here I’ll be able to save more money, look for a house and continue to broaden my skills. And get a dog! The NYC job would have looked awesome on a resume, would have been challenging and productive, but the Cleveland position constitues a lifestyle upgrade and the NYC would have been a lateral move in that regard. I’ll finally be able to stop living paycheck to paycheck and will be doing work that is in line with my passions.

I think I’m the only person who knows what a close thing it was. I’d already started looking for apartments in NYC and rekindling dormant friendships. My mind was focused on New York and I had given up completely on the Cleveland job market. Maybe the most difficult part of my discerning process this weekend was detuning that focus so I could be as objective as possible. I’m worried that my friends in NYC will feel like my rejection of that position will come across as a rejection of them, and I don’t want that to happen, because it isn’t. I’m going to build up my comp time and visit NYC sometime next year and take the folks who helped me out for dinner.

But in the end I am giddy and grinning that I finally have a job doing something that is actually interesting and can leave the grim confines, patronizing pay and corporate indifference of my current position for a place that treats employees like people instead of infinitely renewable resources.

In celebration of my new job, here is a song: I Work For the Government Now by Central Services. Here is another link to the same song, since you only get 100 DLs from YSI. I promise to be worth the taxpayer money that will pay my salary.

I made vegan snickerdoodles last night. I used this recipe. Although they didn’t turn out as tasty as classic snickerdoodles, they are still good. The recipe itself could use a little work. The ingredients list says baking powder, but the directions say baking soda [I used the soda], and it makes about 2 dozen cookies, not 2½. It also says use 3T of dough for each cookie, which makes gigantic cookies, I used about 1½T for each cookie. The first batch I made were too sugary, so I cut it down by ¼C in the second batch. The taste was better, but the consistency was a bit too floury. If I make them again, I’ll cut both the sugar and the flour by ¼C.

I’ve never made any vegan chow before, but I’m under the impression that these problems are probably pretty common when baking without eggs and milk. Corn starch has to take the place of the egg, but it doesn’t behave the same in the mix.

Almost a year ago I made my first Google Map for the redesign of the TWiFi site. I didn’t touch the API again until I finally started redesigning Tremonter a few months back. The idea for creating a neighborhood map for Tremont had been rattling around in my head since I first started the site, but I knew how tedious the work would be and so kept putting it off.

Now that the Tremont map is finally taking shape, I must admit that the tedium is still present, but is currently outweighed by the fact that the map looks so cool. I’d better be careful though, or I’ll start putting Google Maps on everything.

I still need to figure out the right javascript tweaks to make no markers appear until their respective boxes are checked in the legend, but otherwise the only thing left to do is cobble together the addresses, phone numbers, websites and coordinates for several hundred businesses in the few square miles that is Tremont, and plug the data into the xml file. Looking at it in that direction seems a bit daunting, so I’ll just take it one marker at a time.

It was almost death by vehicular homicide this morning on the way to work. I was cut-off almost side-swiped by a bumper-sticker ribbon-magnet engulfed old-school Chevrolet Suburban. Only my lightning reflexes and good brakes saved me from being sardined into the median wall. Since I was only the distance to the front of my car from the bumper of the offender I had a perfect view to read some of the stickers which included [I kid not]:

• In case of Rapture this car will be unmanned.
- Based on the driver’s skill, for a brief moment I thought that the Rapture had actually happened.

• God is my co-pilot.
- Yeah, sure. And Satan rides shotgun with me. [which is actually another bumper sticker]

• God Provides.
- And if he doesn’t I’ll run you over in my Giant Truck™!

• Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty.
- She had the Random and Senseless down…

• Support Our Troops.
- By driving a 30-year old vehicle that could only pass an eCheck with divine intervention.

After she passed the semi, going about 2 mph faster than it [˜67mph], I managed to pass her. I didn’t flip her off though, that would have been unChristian.

A part of this viewing list: Criterion Collection Spine #157: Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums.

As I pointed out in my review of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, I don’t like Wes Anderson’s films. This creates a slight problem for me, since he’s got a contract with Criterion Co. to have his films [the ones I don't like] receive their DVD treatment. The upside to this problem is that I can refine my understanding of exactly why I don’t like Wes Anderson’s films.

Much ado is made of the 4th Wall in both film and theater, but I’m not sure if there is a term that describes the audience’s awareness of the director instead of the actors. This is how I feel when I watch a Wes Anderson film; there is something about the construction that prevents me from suspending my disbelief, and instead all I see are the contrivances that make a film possible. The only other director that I can think of that makes himself visible in this way is Kieslowski in his Three Colors trilogy. Yet Kieslowski doesn’t drop as many balls as Anderson, mainly because he’s not trying to juggle as many.

In The Royal Tenenbaums I feel more like I’m watching someone play with action figures instead of watching a movie. In addition, the characters don’t seem like real people, but instead as actors playing characters. This is an inevitable consequence of filling out the cast with big names. I do not get immersed in The Royal Tenenbaums. I can understand that the movie is supposed to be a comedy, but there isn’t one point that makes me want to laugh, or even grin wryly. It isn’t my style to laugh at the sincere pain of others, no matter how ridiculously they behave or how shallow they are as characters.

All of this is transposed to some extent in The Life Aquatic, because there is an added layer of film-making between Anderson and his characters: the “documentary” crew; which is able to bear most of the “visible director” burden I mentioned above. Because of this added layer, the characters become actors, and the viewer’s impulse is to discover who the character really is under all of the acting. The extra layer also makes it easier to suspend disbelief which, in turn, gives the comedy and tragedy some breathing room. Yet otherwise, The Life Aquatic is just The Royal Tenenbaums on the ocean.

Both films have many of the same actors, the same characters with similar unlikely backgrounds, the same plot motivations, the same quirky and unbelievable mise-en-scene, the same milquetoast denouements and the same insufficiencies; not enough comedy to be funny, and not enough character development to create true drama. I’m left with the impression that Anderson doesn’t care if his films say anything at all as long as they look shiny and smart.

• Criterion Essay by Kent Jones. [Marvel as Mr. Jones verbally fellates Wes Anderson and uses the "You Just Don't Get It" cop-out if you disagree with him.]
• IGN Behind the scenes feature including stills and video.
• Tons of YouTube clips.

Today is poem revision day.

Currently Revised:

•Starting easy: A title change, now Reveille.
•Tightened up Cartography.
•Grammatical fixes and less active wording in Oubliette.
•Reformatted Crash and somehow fouled up the font size throughout my entire site? Stupid pre tag. Stupid autoadjusting text-size IE browser. What a waste of time.
• Significant revisions to The Valiant.

Done for the day. Time to work on the Tremont Interactive Map.

I joined the iPod armada the other day. Ever since I heard about the impending release of the 2nd generation Shuffle, I’ve wanted one. The mp3 player has finally reached the exact size/memory/price point that I wanted, so I picked one up. At $80, for 1GB of storage capacity and an egregiously long battery life in a package smaller than a matchbook I am more than satisfied. The earbuds suck, but I’ll survive, and likely even start running again, which was the main reason apart from gearheadism for the purchase.

A part of this viewing list: Criterion Collection Spine #14: Hiroshi Inagaki’s Samurai I: Miyamoto Musashi.

Miyamoto Musashi is the first installment of Hiroshi Inagaki’s Samurai Trilogy, an action-packed series of films that follows the life of Japan’s greatest warrior as he grows into his legend. This initial film shows a very different Musashi from the one most people are familiar with; when he was known simply as Takezo, and was a hunted and feared bandit. Toshiro Mifune, who plays Musashi, is perfect for the role; one might argue that thoughts about Musashi are at the core of most of his samurai performances. Yet, in this first film we see little of the nuance that Mifune is capable of, instead we are immersed in the unfettered and unfocused intensity that is his other strength.

The cinematography is careful to remove most of Takezo’s humanity, often showing him in shadow, obscured by brush, or pursued by picket lines of searchers, like a hunted boar. As he gives himself up wholly to this wildness he becomes darkness personified, and years later as he emerges as a focused and strong samurai, there is a parallel with his emergence into light. Every aspect of Musashi’s character growth is carefully managed and packaged in such a way that, although we are rarely privy to his actual thoughts, we understand his motivations as if they were our own.

There is an array of supporting characters whose own journeys and motivations add important context to Musashi’s life. His friend Matahachi has more cunning, but is a coward and faithless. Otsu, Matahachi’s former betrothed, is shown to have a strength of character and well of kindness that is likely more instrumental in Takezo’s reform than the Buddhist priest Takuan’s own methods. In the later films this devotion becomes much more prominent, culminating in one of the most Romantic romances of all time.

Takezo is an echo of his time as well, the country was split in war and the Tokugawa Shogunate would emerge victorious at about the same time that Takezo becomes the samurai Musashi. At the end of the film, Musashi is told to go ronin, much like a knight errant, to build his skills and hone his discipline, in order to be fit to serve his master. Setting the stage for the sequel, which I’ll rewatch and review whenever it comes in from the library.

• My review of Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple.
• My review of Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island.
• Criterion Essay by Bruce Eder.
• The Criterion Contraption Review
• Kung-Fu Cinema Review

Years ago, I read an essay about the cultural construction of whiteness in America; the author’s claim was that whiteness is defined as a void, easier to discuss in terms of what it is not, rather than what it is. I can’t remember if this was mentioned in the essay, but I believe this loss is derived from the ubiquity of whiteness itself. Trying to define whiteness is bootstrapping. Even the vocabulary involved in such discussions of ethnicity is insufficient to properly address the issue. By virtue of their minority status, it is possible for folks in a non-white construction to hone their self-awareness in terms of their association with whatever their minority is. So a black folk has an easier time grappling with what it means to be Black because their blackness is less prominent when compared to whiteness. This applies just as well to sex and gender roles, and even works in subcategories of whiteness based on country of origin.

I’m sometimes envious of people who have this kind of associative chance. I have no legacy to use to direct my self-definition. My family, awesome as it is, shows no ethnic traits, like a focus on food from the old country, songs and stories, or even knowledge of distant family over in Europe. This is why that essay resonated with me so strongly, it seemed to be describing my life exactly. Because my cultural background is ubiquitous to the point of meaninglessness, I’m missing out on an entire facet of existence. This was likely the nascent impulse that made me so interested in anthropology.

Something Alixa + Naima said the other night sparked this thought process. In an amazing poem about Hurricane Katrina, they made disparaging reference to being white. After, they explained that it wasn’t a remark about race, but about a certain state of mind they call “white.” To me it seems like this state of mind is the same as the ubiquity/void that I’m talking about. It makes sense, but is also troubling. Their sense of culture and legacy was very prominent in their reading, in direct contrast to whiteness.

Yet where does that leave me? There is no Italian or Polish or Hungarian or Irish or Jewish heritage for me to lean on. I cannot adopt myself into any of those paradigms and be authentic. On the positive side, this void leaves me free to define myself in any terms that I choose; except these always seem to remain in the void and the process gets awfully old after awhile. It is almost easier to just be meaningless.

Wherever you go, there you are. Liam and precocious offspring. Pan-seared duck breast Thai delivery at 9pm at night. Upper West Side nice as always. Police locks on doors tell a ten year old different story. All airports look the same; still get slightly nauseous during descent. They shut off the air flow: hot and bumpy and nothing to look at. Came home to near whiteout night snow. 49° apartment. Leftover pizza. Candy crust car this morning and the first fake ladybug: harbinger-vanguard-recon of annual invasion.

It is no surprise to me how badly airlines are doing as an industry. I fly only infrequently, but the new airport security measures since that fright in the UK a few months ago, the expense of tickets and the racket of surcharges if you need to make a reservation change make me want to drive, no matter how far I’m going. If I fly I’m supposed to get to the airport 3 hours before my flight leaves, carry no more liquid than 3oz travel-sized containers in a 1-quart zip-top bag that I have to dig out of my carry-on, along with my laptop and whatever else they want to look at. And of course there is the shoe-removal, coat-removal, etc. Then, if you make it past security quickly, you’re stuck for 2.5 hours twiddling your thumbs. And if security is running slow, you might stand in line for the 3 hours and miss your flight. There is not one redeeming quality to the experience.

I’m flying to NYC today. My plane leaves at 3:40, so I have to get to Hopkins at 1. It doesn’t arrive in NYC until 7:02. A 6 hour trip time flying, when I could drive to NYC in 8. Driving wouldn’t cost me $500, I could have my car filled with nail clippers and bottles of water, and could pack my bag any way I chose. In retrospect I should have driven. Less stress and hassle on the open road.