Lunatic Neighbors

Last night at 4am I was awakened by the worst altercation I’ve heard yet from my moon-​struck neighbors. The crazy lady yells at her man on a nearly daily basis; “fuck this, fuck that, fuckety fuck fuck, like Samuel L. in Pulp Fiction. She is so loud that she can wake me up when there are no open windows and she’s in the building next to us. There are often children crying. I called the cops once when there was both yelling and crying children with the addition of threats about custody and safety issues regarding the kids. I don’t think anything resulted from that.

Last night they woke me up twice. The first time, crazy lady was screaming at the top of her lungs for people to shut up because the kids were sleeping. Then, later on, she was yelling “get the fuck out of my house!” and then “get the fuck out of my yard” to some dude named Raekwon who ended up breaking her car window before tearing off like a bat out of hell. Crazy lady keeps yelling and ends up yarfing from the stress, the folks upstairs quickly bring down their infant and skedaddle for a bit, and crazy lady and company go back inside. No use calling the cops, they’ve got more important things to do at 4am than stop by a place where the altercation has already finished [unless Raekwon comes back with a 9].

A few minutes later I heard, a few blocks away, a terrible car accident. The horn went off for about 10 minutes before sirens showed up. I went outside a few times to make sure things were safe, and was going to try to find the accident, but I couldn’t tell which direction the horn was coming from.

My mom’s visiting this weekend, so now she’s convinced I live in the ghetto [apparently an inaccurate portrayal], even though, as far as I can tell, the place next to mine is the only problem residence on my street. There was a fire at that place right before I moved into my house and they’ve been working on it for a few months, the landlord is absentee and obviously doesn’t care too much about that particular property, as the fire was the result of code violations.