Dreams, Lately

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

A couple of nights ago I dreamed I was at a Guns ‘N Roses concert; they were playing Bön Jovi covers. In the dream, I kept trying to fall asleep, but kept myself awake because I didn’t want to miss the music. I ended up waking up fully because I tried so hard not to fall asleep, while I was already asleep. I’m assuming that I was trying to switch between sleep stages but not letting myself do so.

Last night I dreamed that some important guy had created a new, puzzling, adventurous world to explore; one of the puzzles was figuring out how to get into the world in the first place. I figured this out before anyone else; it was as simple as asking the man for the key. Once inside the world was Escher-​like, labyrinthine and full of junk. You had to sort through all of the junk to find the useful items for the journey. I figured out fairly soon that although the world was so large, none of the paths you followed got you anywhere. I realized that this was also an inherent puzzle to the world. Upon figuring it out, I could leave and get a true adventure from the man. Having proved myself, I did so.

I’ve been playing both Portal and Half-​Life 2 lately, so I think that gaming fired off that particular dream.

Baby Fashionista

Sunday, 27 January 2008

Onesy Ideas:

  • An arrow on the front pointing to the mouth with Food written under it; on the backside, an arrow pointing to the butt with Poop written over it.
  • A snake mouth on the bottom half of the onesy; so it looks as if the baby is being eaten.
  • Basic animal onesies, all ferocious and ravenous looking; not cute and cuddly.
  • Gender-​benders: Girl-​onesies with sparkly, vicious, toothy T-​Rexes; pink and purple fire trucks; etc. Boy-​onesies with camo-​print prancing ponies.
  • His and Her: Mommy Loves Me; Daddy Doesn’t and Daddy Loves Me; Mommy Doesn’t.

Pregnant Woman T-​shirt Ideas [all of these prints go on the lower part of the shirt, so the belly fills them out]:

  • Disco Ball [thanks to Noah Pfarr]
  • Death Star
  • Globe
  • A monster mouth with sharp teeth [to discourage people from touching the pregnant belly].

Bear Paw Mittens

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Bear ArmsI received bear paw mittens for Christmas, and they’ve become my favorite gift. They give me near endless amusement, I get to act like a bear and make infinite puns about doing things with my bear hands. In addition to this, I also get to act like a bear and make infinite puns about my bare hands. These mittens are so awesome that people do triple takes. I pretend they are my actual hands and wonder aloud if I’ll ever find gloves that will fit. I probably exasperate everything within ear-​sight of me when I have them on. They even have the bonus of being fairly warm, despite their acrylic nature. The next time I’m in Canada, I might try fishing with them.

It has also been suggested to me that I get a shirt that says “Everyone has the right to bear arms.”

Not-​so Altercation

Sunday, 13 January 2008

I pissed off a cop today. He was sitting at the intersection of West 20th and Lorain at the light and chatting with a car in the other lane on West 20th. I was two cars back. The light turned green and they just kept talking, so I honked my horn. The car in the other lane got the hint and moved on, but the cop glared in his rearview mirror at me and waited until the light turned yellow before turning out onto Lorain. The car between us also made it through the light, but I got stuck at the red. The cop pulled over on Lorain to wait for me until he realized that I was stuck at the red, and then drove off. I wonder what he would have ticketed me for, or whether he was just going to waste my time and bitch at me for honking at him.

Hey man, I was hungry and he was between me and the grocery.