Altar Boy

Monday, 23 December 2002

i used to be an al­tar boy. a damn good one at that, i knew what needed to be done at ex­actly what time and i knew all of the foibles of the priest i helped out. it was dread­fully bor­ing. i did how­ever gain the abil­ity to keep a to­tally emo­tion­less face for an en­tire hour. i al­ways took the honor of prepar­ing the censer and in­cense when we used it in mass. i got to play with fire, and make it smell good. it was the only sexy part of be­ing a server. i did pass out a cou­ple of times dur­ing sum­mer mass due to lack of blood sugar and the in­tense heat that wear­ing an alb in sum­mer heat with­out hav­ing break­fast would cause any­one to pass out. if you read that sen­tence again i change some­thing around from the first half to the sec­ond half and it shouldn’t make any sense. too many verb clauses? what­ever.