Wednesday, 6 January 2010

When I was very small, the worst word I knew was “hate.” I could get smacked for us­ing it too freely or in­ap­pro­pri­ately. Later, I was taught the typ­i­cal tru­ism “if you can’t say any­thing nice, don’t say any­thing.” Once I’d processed that by be­ing re­quired to sit in a chair and think about man­ners a few times, I then be­came con­fused about the dif­fer­ence be­tween a com­ment and a com­pli­ment. I un­der­stood per­fectly well what a com­pli­ment was, but a com­ment was a co­nun­drum. Apparently a com­ment didn’t have to be com­pli­men­tary. So to my tiny bi­nary mind, this cer­tainly meant that com­ments were not some­thing that was good.

It’s tod­dler logic, like the time I asked Mom to name every­thing that be­gan with the let­ter m. Hey, Mom be­gins with m doesn’t it? She must know every­thing else that be­gins with m then.

Blast from the Past

Sunday, 19 January 2003

One of the guys in my sec­tion Freshman year sent me this email the other day.

Hey Harv,

I know that I don’t talk to you much any more, and we didn’t re­ally talk much once I moved out of 4B, but I fig­ured that I needed to send you this email.

The other day, I re­al­ized how cool you re­ally were. You were never afraid to do things be­cause of what other peo­ple would think. I’ve al­ways lived with the great fear that you (that’s the all in­clu­sive you, not just you per­son­ally, no of­fense.) would not like me if I let you know that I did things that aren’t so­cially pop­u­lar.

For in­stance, I love Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars, but I would never talk about it. I was al­ways afraid to be open about that stuff. And that’s just the tip of the ice­berg, ya know. Those are just ex­am­ples that you might re­late to the most.

Now that I’m sober, I’m do­ing things that I want to do and say­ing things that I want to say. I’m not caged by self-cen­tered, self­ish fear as I was. Though you’ve been pretty weird at times (I mean that in a good way!), but you are also an in­spi­ra­tion for me.

I hope that your se­mes­ter goes well, and I hope that you can for­give me for all of the trou­ble that I caused in Keough Freshman year.

Talk to you later,

That’s one of the best com­pli­ments I’ve ever had.