Haiku Contest 2004

Wednesday, 7 April 2004

It is time for the sec­ond an­nu­al [and this time or­ga­nized a bit bet­ter] Organic Mechanic Haiku con­test. Go here if you want to ed­u­cate your­self a bit on haiku.

The Prize

The win­ner will re­ceive A Glimpse of Red : The Red Moon Anthology of English-Language Haiku and a com­pi­la­tion CD of ran­dom­ness made by yours tru­ly. The first and sec­ond run­ners up will just get the ran­dom com­pi­la­tion CD.


  1. You may on­ly sub­mit two haiku.
  2. Your haiku must have sev­en­teen [17] syl­la­bles and three lines. Five [5] syl­la­bles in the first line, sev­en [7] syl­la­bles in the sec­ond line and five [5] syl­la­bles in the fi­nal line.
  3. Your haiku must be per­son­al, orig­i­nal cre­ations. No pla­gia­riz­ing.
  4. If you win, place or show you must give me your ad­dress so I can mail you your prizes.
  5. You may not use a Haiku gen­er­a­tor. Dumbass.


I will judge the haiku based on cre­ativ­i­ty, wit and hu­mor. I en­cour­age the use of puns and en­ten­dres and sly­ness of all kinds. It needs to make a state­ment of some sort. A tra­di­tion­al haiku is ac­cept­able, but I en­cour­age you to stretch your­self. Use haiku like a stilet­to. Use it like a whoopy cush­ion. Make it dance a jig for who­ev­er reads it. That is what I want from your haiku. I want you to have fun. Whichever haiku teach­es me the best some­thing in a cre­ative and/​or wit­ty and/​or hu­mor­ous man­ner will stand a good chance of win­ning. If you think what I’ve de­scribed it too hard, don’t frig­gin wor­ry about it. I’m more in­ter­est­ed in get­ting haiku than get­ting good haiku. Actually, I guess I’m beg­ging you to send me some­thing. I do love to see what peo­ple can come up with. The con­test end on May 1st. I will ac­cept sub­mis­sions un­til I take down the ban­ner on the 1st of May.


You will re­tain the copy­right to what­ev­er you sub­mit. Your email ad­dress or ac­tu­al ad­dress will not be giv­en to any­one for any pur­pose at any­time. They will be safe. If the book I or­dered doesn’t ar­rive from Amazon the win­ner will re­ceive some­thing else cool in­stead. If the win­ner has a wish list I might buy some­thing off of it for them. Judging is not ar­bi­trary and the rea­son­ing for my de­ci­sion may or may not be ex­pli­cat­ed. I will not make any cash off of this ven­ture or your sub­mis­sions. If I for­got some­thing just pre­tend it is here. My ass is now du­ly cov­ered.


You have to sub­mit via email. Sorry. I’m not code-savvy enough to make a func­tion­ing non-email form. You can try us­ing the form be­low- just know that it will open your de­fault mail client. If you want to send it through web­mail of some sort please send it to:

This form should work. *cross­es fin­gers*

For Inspiration

Last year’s ‘con­test’.
Something from a year be­fore that.
And be­low you will find a few I’ve writ­ten for this year.

ver­sus a rhinocer­ous–
don’t get in the way.

Mist off a great lake–
whip­por­whill on the bare branch,
foot­steps on grav­el.

It could be much worse–
that could be your kid up there
screw­ing the White House.

Nose blow too of­ten
cough hack scratchy a sore throat
this haiku is sick.