How to Kill a Crayon

Monday, 27 May 2002

5.27.02 INT. 450 SIEGFRIED, ADAM’S BED, THE ASSCRACK OF DAWN

i woke up last night hang­ing halfway out of my bed (head­first) with my eyes stuck to­geth­er with gunk and my tongue fused to the roof of my mouth since all mois­ture in my mouth had evap­o­rat­ed. i had been hav­ing a nor­mal dream in which i was read­ing a pam­phlet en­ti­tled “How to Kill a Crayon,” com­plete with di­a­grams and pic­tures show­ing the end re­sult of the “ter­mi­nat­ed wax mod­ule.” (even in my dreams the per­son­al na­ture of death is ob­scured by bu­reau­crat­ic jar­gon). any­way, i walked down the hall and drank about a half gal­lon of wa­ter then re­turned to my nest to com­plete my night’s rest. i think my dream is re­lat­ed to my cur­rent read­ing, which is all about how to live your life and kill peo­ple with a katana (i think i want to be a wan­der­ing samu­rai or ron­in). not be­cause i want to kill peo­ple (or crayons) but be­cause i think it is sexy (like pre­tend­ing to be the Terminator is sexy). (i like paren­the­ses).