and it seemed that as soon as i closed my eyes they were open again. but the other side: hel/nirvana/heaven/purgatory/hell whatever you call it, was kind of boring. just shades of dead folks walking around looking apathetic. it sucked. i’d rather expected a par-tay.
so i went back.
and now i’m stuck, ghostwriting in rather strange ways. i can possess things now. for instance, since i have no corporeal existence i had to possess this computer to write. its pretty fun flicking around electrons. i guess i’m a lawnmower man. but its harder to concentrate with nothing to keep my ether held together but my will.
you don’t really need exorcism or anything like that to get rid of ghosts, just distract them, then turn on a fan.
another thing, i thought i was just on the other side for a moment or two, but when i came back i was already old dry bones. you see, the easiest spot to reappear is in your old body. i guess an affinity always remains. but i’d long since rotted and all that was left in my ossuary were my bones and an antisocial spider.
once i got the hang of being ethereal it was pretty fun. i can go through walls, but not with ease. willing myself through things takes a lot of energy, thats why when you see a ghost come out of a wall they are all pale. normally we look more along the lines of a colored overhead transparency. i can move as fast as my thought across open spaces however.
i thought i’d check out my family, just for old times sake. they were all dead too. so i became one of those ancestral ghosts roaming and moaning the halls of the gothic castle. or not quite. actually i just chilled in the houses of my family’s descendents. every once in awhile when i wasn’t paying attention they would bump into me and get a chill.
why didn’t they see me? that’s easy, people only see ghosts when they know to look for them. its hard to catch one of us by surprise. after all we are pure will. it still got boring after awhile. there is only so much you can do as a spectre. i could have picked up the whole rattling chains and wailing thing but instead i decided i’d go find some mountains and roam around the peaks and valleys.
after awhile i’m sure i’ll start to get the hang of it, my spirit will melt into the land and you’ll be able to hear my chuckle on crisp autumn evenings. it’ll probably just sound like rustling leaves, but it’ll really be me.