i went over to her room last night and watched her pack a little and drank some wine. it didn’t take much convincing to get her to stop and come sit on the futon by me. we talked, i babbled, things were slightly awkward but so very slightly it was only noticeable if you looked for it. we listend to some U2, some cranberries and much Smashing Pumpkins. our legs brushed against each other. we talked more and she told me about why she and her old boyfriend split. a whole year ago! and i knew nothing until it was too late. last year when we had both been horribly depressed we could have helped each other. we talked more as Adore played and suddenly she asked me what my favorite Pumpkins song was. as i turned to look at her, she was so close to me that my eyes couldn’t focus on her face. i wanted to kiss her then, but didn’t. did she want me to kiss her? we read something about our zodiac compatibilities. we are both scorpios, and for the most part we fit the bill with our personalities, dark and ever-changing. it appeared from reading the book that the only good match for a scorpio is a pisces. everything else destructs due to scorpio’s desire for control or something. pisces are submissive i guess. we both agreed that we didn’t want someone we could walk over but an equal instead. the scorpio/scorpio match mentioned something along those same lines, that the dark passions would either meld seamlessly or the exact opposite. i think we were both thinking about how well we get along together. at least i know i was. as we listend to by starlight, and discussed how beautiful it was, the visiting hours ended i had to leave. we never did kiss, though i most certainly dreamed about it. i wanted to give her a hug, but felt self-conscious and gave her a high-five instead, which made my self-consciousness blatantly obvious. i miss her and too many opportunities. the wine was very good.
-she looked up at me over her falafel and told me about her plans for spain. lots of literature it sounds like, and a film class that counts for literature. i wish i could read her. it is so easy spending time idly catching up and its true, as she says, that when we are around each other there really isn’t a need for doing so.
she’d never been to Elia’s which surprised me. its is awesome mediterranean food. i was pretty sure she was a vegetarian, and Elia’s has a great selection of said cuisine. personally, as an omnivore, i went with the kafta.
someone told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend. i didn’t bring it up. i like her, but as things work out, my last semester here she will be in Toledo. Where is the point in trying to see if she is interested? I still remember working with her at the Huddlemart and crushing on her quiet interest.
the same someone who told me also heard from the same person that told the someone who told me that she likes me alot. if of course i am the Adam that lives in Keough and is on the fencing team. (i’m 87% sure that it is me).
she just turned 21, 2 days before my 22nd. she seemed to have had an enjoyable birthday. and last night she had a wine and cheese party which i was invited to, but did not go to because i had a bad hotdog before the game and was slightly nauseaous.
so is this beauty slipping away? is this another ending? i don’t think i want it to be
today was even longer than usual. i got up early to stand in line for the extra stanford tix and waited for an hour and a half to sign a piece of paper and dish out the 43 bucks necessary for the tix only to be told to come back between 3-4 that afternoon to pick them up. hours passed, i had 2 classes and work, then between 3-4 i showed back up after literally hauling my ass across the entire campus only to find out that there ARE no tix. i guess they were just a figment in the alumni associations imagination. so a got my money back, went to practice, and then went to my one time a week, three hour long class. i’m sweet on this very attractive lady that sits next to me, she seems nice, but i’m afraid she’s a little out of my league.