Her Room

Friday, 20 December 2002

i went over to her room last night and watched her pack a lit­tle and drank some wine. it didn’t take much con­vinc­ing to get her to stop and come sit on the fu­ton by me. we talked, i bab­bled, things were slight­ly awk­ward but so very slight­ly it was on­ly no­tice­able if you looked for it. we lis­tend to some U2, some cran­ber­ries and much Smashing Pumpkins. our legs brushed again­st each oth­er. we talked more and she told me about why she and her old boyfriend split. a whole year ago! and i knew noth­ing un­til it was too late. last year when we had both been hor­ri­bly de­pressed we could have helped each oth­er. we talked more as Adore played and sud­den­ly she asked me what my fa­vorite Pumpkins song was. as i turned to look at her, she was so close to me that my eyes couldn’t fo­cus on her face. i want­ed to kiss her then, but didn’t. did she want me to kiss her? we read some­thing about our zo­di­ac com­pat­i­bil­i­ties. we are both scor­pios, and for the most part we fit the bill with our per­son­al­i­ties, dark and ever-chang­ing. it ap­peared from read­ing the book that the on­ly good match for a scor­pio is a pisces. every­thing else de­struc­ts due to scorpio’s de­sire for con­trol or some­thing. pisces are sub­mis­sive i guess. we both agreed that we didn’t want some­one we could walk over but an equal in­stead. the scorpio/​scorpio match men­tioned some­thing along those same lines, that the dark pas­sions would ei­ther meld seam­less­ly or the ex­act op­po­site. i think we were both think­ing about how well we get along to­geth­er. at least i know i was. as we lis­tend to by starlight, and dis­cussed how beau­ti­ful it was, the vis­it­ing hours end­ed i had to leave. we nev­er did kiss, though i most cer­tain­ly dreamed about it. i want­ed to give her a hug, but felt self-con­scious and gave her a high-five in­stead, which made my self-con­scious­ness bla­tant­ly ob­vi­ous. i miss her and too many op­por­tu­ni­ties. the wine was very good.

Slipping Beauty

Sunday, 24 November 2002

–she looked up at me over her falafel and told me about her plans for spain. lots of lit­er­a­ture it sounds like, and a film class that counts for lit­er­a­ture. i wish i could read her. it is so easy spend­ing time idly catch­ing up and its true, as she says, that when we are around each oth­er there re­al­ly isn’t a need for do­ing so.

she’d nev­er been to Elia’s which sur­prised me. its is awe­some mediter­ranean food. i was pret­ty sure she was a veg­e­tar­i­an, and Elia’s has a great se­lec­tion of said cuisine. per­son­al­ly, as an om­ni­vore, i went with the kaf­ta.

some­one told me that she had bro­ken up with her boyfriend. i didn’t bring it up. i like her, but as things work out, my last se­mes­ter here she will be in Toledo. Where is the point in try­ing to see if she is in­ter­est­ed? I still re­mem­ber work­ing with her at the Huddlemart and crush­ing on her qui­et in­ter­est.

the same some­one who told me al­so heard from the same per­son that told the some­one who told me that she likes me alot. if of course i am the Adam that lives in Keough and is on the fenc­ing team. (i’m 87% sure that it is me).

she just turned 21, 2 days be­fore my 22nd. she seemed to have had an en­joy­able birth­day. and last night she had a wine and cheese par­ty which i was in­vit­ed to, but did not go to be­cause i had a bad hot­dog be­fore the game and was slight­ly nau­se­aous.

so is this beau­ty slip­ping away? is this an­oth­er end­ing? i don’t think i want it to be

Some Girl

Monday, 23 September 2002

to­day was even longer than usu­al. i got up ear­ly to stand in line for the ex­tra stan­ford tix and wait­ed for an hour and a half to sign a piece of pa­per and dish out the 43 bucks nec­es­sary for the tix on­ly to be told to come back be­tween 3 – 4 that af­ter­noon to pick them up. hours passed, i had 2 class­es and work, then be­tween 3 – 4 i showed back up af­ter lit­er­al­ly haul­ing my ass across the en­tire cam­pus on­ly to find out that there ARE no tix. i guess they were just a fig­ment in the alum­ni as­so­ci­a­tions imag­i­na­tion. so a got my mon­ey back, went to prac­tice, and then went to my one time a week, three hour long class. i’m sweet on this very at­trac­tive la­dy that sits next to me, she seems nice, but i’m afraid she’s a lit­tle out of my league.