Today I will describe, in minute detail, my various physical deformities. Drumroll, please.
- I have a slight limp in my left leg.
- My nose is crooked.
- The left side of my face is lower than the right side.
- My left eye is less open than my right eye.
- Sometimes I get long pubic-like nosehairs.
- I am slowly going bald.
- I am missing a tooth.
- I have a long scar on my right temple.
- I have a mutant patch of hair on the right side of my chest that is not matched on the left side.
- I have a mole on my arm that grows pubic-like nose hairs.
- I have a few pockmarks. [Should have listened to mom when I had chicken pox]
- I slouch.