Dueling With Guns

as i walked toward my first class of the day: Intro­duc­tion to Archae­ol­o­gy, i couldn’t help but over­hear i con­ver­sa­tion in front of me.

Girl #1: “…I mean, if they used guns it would be way too loud.”

Girl #2: “Yeah, I guess so, but duel­ing with guns is so much cool­er.”

#1: “That’s the only rea­son I can think of that there would be fenc­ing schools.”

#2: “I guess so.”

What! As a fencer I should have turned around and enlight­ened them. Those who learn to fence, do not do so in order to duel. Those who learn to fence do so in order to par­tic­i­pate in a sport that allows them to beat peo­ple with pieces of met­al.

After that lit­tle bit of sur­re­al­i­ty, my archae­ol­o­gy class made things even stranger. mom­my, today in school i learned about how corn has real­ly domes­ti­cat­ed us. we fer­til­ize it, remove com­pet­ing flo­ra, and ensure its prop­a­ga­tion en masse for future gen­er­a­tions. we serve it. to bor­row from my teacher, that corn muf­fin you ate this morn­ing is real­ly in charge. behold, corn and its dia­bol­i­cal plans to take over the world!