Dueling With Guns

Tuesday, 3 December 2002

as i walked to­ward my first class of the day: Introduction to Archaeology, i couldn’t help but over­hear i con­ver­sa­tion in front of me.

Girl #1: “…I mean, if they used guns it would be way too loud.”

Girl #2: “Yeah, I guess so, but du­el­ing with guns is so much cool­er.”

#1: “That’s the on­ly rea­son I can think of that there would be fenc­ing schools.”

#2: “I guess so.”

What! As a fencer I should have turned around and en­light­ened them. Those who learn to fence, do not do so in or­der to du­el. Those who learn to fence do so in or­der to par­tic­i­pate in a sport that al­lows them to beat peo­ple with pieces of met­al.

After that lit­tle bit of sur­re­al­i­ty, my ar­chae­ol­o­gy class made things even stranger. mom­my, to­day in school i learned about how corn has re­al­ly do­mes­ti­cat­ed us. we fer­til­ize it, re­move com­pet­ing flo­ra, and en­sure its prop­a­ga­tion en masse for fu­ture gen­er­a­tions. we serve it. to bor­row from my teacher, that corn muf­fin you ate this morn­ing is re­al­ly in charge. be­hold, corn and its di­a­bol­i­cal plans to take over the world!