Tuesday, 11 February 2003

Millions of young men have now been vin­di­cat­ed by the ac­tions of one of the great­est anath­e­mas of our time. Steve (a.k.a. Benjamin Curtis; a.k.a. The Dell Guy) was ar­rest­ed on 2÷9÷2003 for crim­i­nal pos­ses­sion of mar­i­jua­na. Now all of the moth­ers, friends of moth­ers, aunts, great-aunts, grand­moth­ers, old­er fe­male cowork­ers, lunch ladies, and nuns all must ad­mit that we, the Young Men of America, are noth­ing like the Dell Guy. We do not pref­ace or wrap-up every sen­tence with the word ‘dude.’ and most im­por­tant­ly none of us smoke pot. not a sin­gle one. and you know it too. right now half of all the afore­men­tioned women who know of this lit­tle newsy tid­bit are think­ing to them­selves: ‘Oh My! Steve smokes Wacky Tabaccy? And I com­pared him to my own son/friend’s son/​nephew/​great-​nephew/​etc… What a hor­ri­ble mis­take I have made!’ the oth­er half of the women, so con­vinced that the young man who hap­pens to know which end of a mouse to click is just like Steve are think­ing: ‘Does my son/friend’s son/​nephew/​great-​nephew/​etc… have a prob­lem smok­ing the gan­ja?’ I’m sure my mom fits in­to this lat­ter cat­e­go­ry.

per­haps Benjamin and Ellen Feiss the chick from the apple/​switch ad should get to­geth­er…